


Mute with fear

by Fedora_nut



Series: not fractus, not praeteritus [1]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, It's basically all the characters in the first book, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-12-01 15:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11489415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fedora_nut/pseuds/Fedora_nut
Summary: Drawn to the sidelines. A background character. That's all she ever was, and that was fine with her. In a world that was harsh and unforgiving with all the tides turned against her a small girl fighting her anxiety discovers she isn't normal and all she's built up crumbles. A simple visit from a professor McGonagall and she is thrust into whole new world. What will happen?Once again I'm not the best at summaries.





	1. Mute with fear

A loud bang echoed through the empty desolate room, the dull walls shaded a light timber and sun streaming through two windows. I leant hunched over a cardboard box, the offending object which had caused the noise. After dropping it I allowed myself a moment to catch my breath, glancing ruefully at the stairs which had robbed me of my oxygen.  
Coughing and standing up I surveyed the room, it was square and empty, the walls painted a white colour, two windows on one wall illuminated the room, sunlight seeping through the blinds.  
I opened one blind and peered out over the neighbourhood, the garden one floor below, the cobbled brick was oddly reminiscent of the stereotypical fairytale house, being so old fashioned, and I felt confined by how close the surrounding houses were.  
Granted, the fence was further from the house than most of the other houses we had passed on the way but being used to 60 acres of property and isolation from town made it seem like a minuscule distance.  
My eyes trained up the brick wall of a house nearby, studying it, committing every detail to memory as I knew I would be living here now. As I reached the window I saw a figure passing by the window, pausing and turning to look at the house - our house - quickly I threw the blind down with force, ducking under the window.  
My back was pressed against the wall and my heartbeat quickened, squeezing my eyes shut as a swarm of thoughts ran through my mind.  
What if they saw me? What if they saw me duck and hide? What will they think? Did they think I was some sort of weirdo, spying on them?  
I inwardly cursed myself, maybe I should have kept looking. No, that would be weird.  
My thought process clouded my mind, flooding my brain until the chain of doubts was severed by the shout of my younger brother.  
"THERE'S TWO TOILETS!"  
His voice was elated and filled with triumph and I heard him shout a, "finally!" Before his footsteps sounded down the hallway outside my door, I faintly heard him scrambling and a door open and close, the sound followed by an over dramatic sigh of relief.  
There was sounds of clutter bellow as I heard boxes shifting and a passing murmur of commentary, a brief few gratitudes were expressed by the familiar voice of my mum as she thanked the moving men.  
When I heard the passing of words end and the moving men file out and the door shut I waited a moment.  
When I was satisfied they had left I went to the door, pausing for a moment to grip the doorway with my clammy hands, pressure built up as I paused, worried that if I went out now it would seem like I'd waited for them to leave.  
After a brief moment I made my way downstairs, my legs felt like jelly as I saw some figures still lingering hunched in the lounge room, seeming to organise boxes.  
I briefly considered going back upstairs but was quickly shot down by my head clouding with doubts, what if they saw and thought I was weird for running?  
Swallowing, I made my way to the tiled floor that marked the kitchen, walking to the box that was marked with the scribbled word, 'River'.  
Forcing one foot after the other, I attempted to steady the shaking of my feet and lessen the tension in my shoulders as I felt the eyes of everyone watching bore into me. My stiff walk was quick and I seized the box, trying not to sprint back to my room, the box rattled slightly in my trembling hands and sweat gathered on the back of my neck as the silence seemed to drown me as I stopped breathing.  
A hand stretched towards me and an offer of help was cut short as I jolted in surprise at the touch, I fumbled with the box as a sharp cry of surprise exited the moving mans' mouth, he retracted his hand cradling it to show angry red blisters forming.  
He looked at me in horror and I stared back, quickly scrambling back to the stairs.  
A surge of relief swept over me as I retreated into the shadows of the stairwell away from prying eyes, the feeling instantly swamped by guilt and remorse, as if I had caused his pain.  
I guess I really am a freak.  
Setting down the box in my room carefully I tentatively walked to the window, skirting around the side out of sight I managed to pull down the blinds completely, shielding myself and finally letting me relax.  
I heard an engine signalling the moving men had finally departed, this was confirmed when after a brief pause my youngest brother - Jay - shouted from downstairs in his childish voice.  
"The moving men are... Gone! Goodbye pants!"  
He drawled out the 'goodbye' charismatically with the air of a gameshow host.  
A slightly deeper voice rang out annoyed, "ugh! Don't throw them at me!" The irritated voice of my other younger brother, Cole, causing Jay to cackle.  
Their dispute faded as I made my way to the two boxes by the door, wincing at the ripping sound the tape made as I cut it and opened the box, unpacking several items of mine.  
After a while I noticed the the dimming sky creating shadows on the blinds with the setting sun, marking the night, I went downstairs as I heard mum call for dinner.  
Jay was already sitting on a crate, his missing two front teeth prominent with his wide grin. He spoke with a slight lisp, still learning to speak, "I bet I can throw my peas in your mouth," he spoke with some difficulty, aiming his words at Cole across the table.  
Cole looked up, pulling a disgruntled face.  
"Go away."  
Jay pouted and childishly taunted him, "you're just scared I'll beat you!" Rising to the taunt Cole haughtily opened his mouth and Jay promptly threw all his peas at him causing him to cry out in anger.  
Mum exited the kitchen just in time to intervene Coles' attempt on Jays' life, rebuking them both before she turned to me as I stood still in the doorway.  
She smiled widely with evident relief and tried to coax me to dinner, "it's dinner River, we haven't gotten the kitchen ready yet-" This was evident by the lack of furniture, that would come tomorrow, instead Cole and Jay sat on crates "-but I microwaved some mashed potatoes and peas." She spoke carefully, with deliberation.  
I just nodded my head, she seemed disheartened at my lack of response so I mustered a smile and took the outstretched meal she gave me.  
The rest of the dinner was filled with mum attempting to make light conversation, Jay and Cole responding enthusiastically. A few times she looked hopefully at me but I neglected to contribute.  
"Isn't it different than Australia?" She tried again, imploring me, I nodded dutifully, swallowing the potatoes which now seemed dry like powder in my throat.  
Quickly putting my plastic container with which my dinner had come in in the bin before going upstairs back to my room. The room was bare as it lacked decoration and a camping bed sat in the centre of the room.  
My whiteboard and pen sat beside the camping bed and I quickly bent and withdrew from the cardboard box my teddy bear.  
Tucking myself under the blankets I checked my phone, the blaring light dilating my pupils, I checked my messages and smiled slightly as I saw texts from 'fan girl waifu'.  
Iris was concerned about my trip and if I was okay and I swiftly assured her I was fine, smiling as she promptly replied.  
'I'm so happy ur finally here, cheerio good chap'  
Making fun of the way of talk brought a smile to my face and I quickly replied.  
'Yea I'm glad the moving men r gone.'  
'MUST AVOID HUMAN CONTACT AT ALL COSTS'  
Chuckling at her response I quickly told her goodnight before turning off the flashlight.

~~~~~~

I woke to the sound of blinds being drawn and harsh sunlight attacking my eyes. A small weight constricted my chest and I felt small hands patting my face.  
"Mum says wake up!" Jay giggled gleefully before dashing out of the room.  
By the time I had made my way downstairs, dressed in a grey hoodie and jeans, donning a doctor who shirt underneath, I was met with a disgruntled looking Cole, his sandy blond hair swept into a birds nest that he hadn't even attempted to fix.  
Mum walked up to us, smiling, her light brown hair was in a messy plait and she wore a nice shirt and pants. Clearly she wanted us to go out.  
"The furniture is caught up in customs so while we wait we can go out for breakfast and see the sights!" She was cheerful in her babbling as she packed her purse which was already bulging with its contents.  
She swiftly swiped up a book lying on the counter and gave it to me before she chaperoned us to the door.  
In the front of the rental car mum babbled away at the driving wheel, she nodded to me and the book I was holding, briefly diverting from her rant about what restaurants we could go to.  
"That's your ASL book honey, I was thinking you could brush up on the way and try teach your brothers some, and help me be more fluent, okay sweetie?"  
I nodded quietly, trying not to dampen her mood, it was clear she was making an effort.  
As we stopped at a traffic light I sunk down in my seat to avoid the gazes of passing passengers.

Eating my waffles slowly I shifted my eyes around the restaurant restlessly, mum seemed to sense my discomfort as she tried to distract me.  
"So what is the sign for 'eat' again dear?"  
I showed her and she nodded slowly, she turned to Jay who was clumsily trying to replicate my movements and helped him.  
I heard a hushed voice behind me scold someone, "don't stare!" In a carrying whisper, my ears turned red and I heard a crumpling sound harmonised with the banging of metal.  
We turned around collectively, the movement seeming like a stage direction as everyone else turned too, a confused and scared looking waiter was holding a plate with a meal on it, in his hand he was holding aloft a round metal cover used to cover the meal, it had a few dents in it and it was crumpled inwards.  
It's surface seemed to cave inwards as it began to concave with several more bangs.  
As a waiter rushed out and babbled apologies, explaining about pressure with a nervous air I felt a guilty feeling wash over me, like this was somehow my fault.  
I felt my neck sink further into my hoodie and my breathing quickened, shovelling the rest of the food into my mouth I tried to avoid the attention I was getting and mum got the message.  
Once both Cole and Jay were finished we loaded back into the car, mum distractedly trying to restart a conversation.  
"Oh, River, I have a surprise for you!" She smiled excitedly and I couldn't tell she was being genuine.  
"I know you've been missing Iris and haven't seen her since she left a couple months ago, so now we're in England too I thought we could meet up!"  
My eyes widened and I turned to her, a genuine smile curling my lips slightly.

"Hello Rosa! Yes we moved here, I figured a new start would be best and considering you had moved here too, I recently won the lottery and River has been missing Iris,-" mums good natured chatter faded as she and Mrs Nobbington sat down at a table to talk.  
Iris beamed at me gleefully and I catapulted into her, circling my arms around her neck.  
"I'm so glad your finally here! I haven't seen you since we moved here!" She hugged me tightly, not letting go even as I slipped my arms away from around her neck, she made a sound of happiness.  
"Not letting go," she stated happily subtracting a smile from me, she dragged me along with her, awkwardly shuffling to her room, still hugging me.  
As we walked into her room she finally released me, flinging her arms out with grandeur.  
"Welcome! Please leave your soul at the door, mines been rotting there for days, at least what I have left."  
She jested managing to make me smile and exhale slightly in humour.  
Grinning at her accomplishment she opened her bedside table, allowing me to notice the extra room in comparison to her old room. She flung open the draw and held out a DVD case.  
"Guess who has the new season of Steven Universe?"  
She sung happily, a giant smile on her face and I grinned in response, following her lead as she patted the bed beside her I sat down.

Our house stood on top of a hill, a dirt road marking the small distance from town, the house was two stories, cobblestone painted with green vines clinging to the walls taking up a third of the wall space. It looked like something out of old England and had a charming air about it. The roof was a red brick and it wasn't a simple pattern as there were parts that were raised with larger rooms and the roof resembled slates slanting against each other, my room was elevated slightly higher than the rest too with a bay window.  
When we pulled up the paved path to the driveway we were greeted by an owl perched sternly on the mailbox, sitting upright regally, it's handsome tawny coat gleaming in the sun.  
"Look at that! An owl in the day! Isn't it beautiful guys?" Mum asked, turning in her seat to face my brothers.  
Jay nodded enthusiastically and Cole stared, suddenly pointing towards the door.  
"Look, a cat!"  
There indeed was a cat by the door, a tabby, sitting patiently and almost expectantly, gazing us with stern eyes.  
"Must be a stray."  
My mum reasoned, getting out of the car.  
As we approached however the cat sat up attentively, watching us carefully.  
It stepped back reproachfully when Jay barrelled enthusiastically towards it yelling, "KITTY!" And attempted to swamp the small creature in a hug.  
It dodged out of his grip and sat directly in front of the door, gazing at us for a moment before it suddenly changed.  
Mum dropped her purse with a small shriek and Jay gasped, Cole gaped, taking a few steps back.  
The cat elongated, gaining hight and widening slightly, limbs changed and shifted until a fully grown woman was standing before them, her hair pulled back into a tight bun and her lips pressed in a thin line, a pointy hat on top of her head and she was completely decked out in emerald green robes.  
At the sight of the stranger I immediately stepped behind my mum, hoping to seem as small as possible, my heart rate sped up and I tried not to look scared.  
She turned to my mum and curtly asked, "Mrs Pheonix? Currently Miss Hudson?" She stared expectantly and mum gaped, slowly nodding.  
"I would like to discuss your daughter." She spoke formally, turning her gaze to me, as she gazed at me I shifted uncomfortably, her eyes bored into my skull, keeping me a statue, trying to force back tears as doubts chained me to the ground.  
I felt my chest constrict in fear of being judged, doubting my actions I tried to seem relaxed, mentally scolding myself if I erred slightly, I felt as if a whole court was scrutinising me under her gaze.  
She made a sound in the back of her throat which made me anxious, before giving my mum a letter on parchment.  
Mum took the parchment with shaking hands, she glanced down at it before meekly suggesting, "come in?" With a small voice.  
The woman nodded her approval and the door to our house opened as if bidden by a silent breeze.  
Cautiously we stepped inside, mum hurriedly ushering Jay and Cole upstairs earning disappointed groans.  
I stood unsurely in the lounge room, several open boxes scattered around, I felt like a sore thumb sticking out, a drop of paint on a blank canvas, drawing the eyes of the judge, my insecurities unravelling as a tornado of thoughts roared in my mind.  
My eyes darted around, never resting for too long as I was overwhelmed by the pressure of what to do.  
Mum skittishly flitted about the room trying to tidy up a little.  
"I'm sorry about the mess, we didn't expect- just moved in-" her confused babbling was interrupted by the woman swiftly brandishing a slim stick a waving it, the boxes promptly arranged themselves, moving to one corner of the room, sliding across the floor and stacking themselves orderly.  
Mum made a small sound in the back of her throat like a whimper and sunk to the floor slowly.  
With another flick of the stick a crate slid under her giving her a surface to sit on.  
"I am Professor McGonagall, teacher at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry."  
Mums' eyes grew with every word.  
"And I am here to inform you, your daughter is a witch."  
At the last word mum seemed to regain her senses, bristling with indignation she finally closed her open mouth and spoke with fuming words.  
"You dare come into my house and call her such a word? She has anxiety! And that gives you no right to call her a- a- witch!" She spat, "or to play such a cruel joke, what twisted sense of humour must you have-" she had risen to her full hight, which was not much in comparison to the professor, but her rant was cut short by Professor McGonagall.  
"I am playing no joke madam, your daughter is a witch, and so am I." She didn't seem too perturbed or angered by mums' outburst and merely pointed the stick towards a crate, at which the crates shifted into a hedgehog, snuffling around on the ground.  
Mum gaped and so did I, the hedgehog shuffled around our feet before turning back into a box. We looked up at the professor to see her withdrawing her wand, tucking it away into the folds of her cloak.  
Mum slowly sat down again, gripping my hand tightly.  
She finally looked down at the letter in her hand, with shaky hands she tore the parchment, opening the envelope I saw some scribbled green ink in cursive handwriting, my mums eyes skimmed over the paper before she let out a shaky breath, taking the letter from her I read it curiously. At the top of the page was a coat of arms, a lion, a snake, a badger and an eagle surrounding an ornate letter 'H'.  
'HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY  
headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
(Here there was a list of accomplishments I didn't pay any mind to)  
Dear Miss Pheonix,  
We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.  
Term beings on September 1. - ( at this date i furrowed my eyebrows, this was different than Australian school term) - We await your owl by no later than 31 July.  
Yours sincerely,  
(A cursive signature was here bearing the name of the woman in front of her)  
Minerva Mcgonagall  
Deputy Headmistress'  
I looked up at her, blinking slowly, I could tell as much she wasn't lying, she had proven she was a witch, but the question burning my tongue was, 'why me?'.  
I set down the envelope and signed the words to her, when she looked at my confused and raised an eyebrow I felt myself flush in embarrassment, of course she didn't understand, how stupid was that?  
Mum came to my rescue luckily, translating the question.  
The professor gazed steadily at me, confusion still lingering in her eyes.  
"Occasionally, magic will present itself in a muggle born with no magical, witch or wizard, lineage. When professor Dumbledore knew about you - and your relation to the Nobbingtons - he decided you should come here to receive a proper education for your powers and ensured you would win the lottery to afford to come here."  
She explained professionally.  
"It is entirely up to you if you would like to enrol in the school and there will be help given for anything you don't understand."  
She informed me in a brisk, business like manner.  
Looking back at the letter I hesitated before turning to her and nodding.


	2. The journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't be bothered with summaries, she's buying her stuff and leaving. Read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont mean to offend anyone with my characters anxiety, I dont mean for it to be unrealistic or anything. If you have any issues please comment I will try to fix it and any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I know anxiety isn't romantic or anything to be taken lightly and I think it is serious I wanted River to represent that it isn't pretty and I want it to be realistic to address these issues.

I gasped out, taking greedy gulps of air and spluttering, my head swam and the horrible churning in the put of my stomach made me retch.  
My stomach constricted and twisted performing athletic feats leaving me winded, I had the sudden impression I had gone through a pipe.  
My ears rang from the loud crack which had punctuated our arrival, tears pricking the corner of my vision.  
McGonagalls' voice echoed from behind me unperturbed, "it takes time to get used to," I stood bolt upright, wheeling around to face her, briefly forgetting in my moment of discomfort she was there. My cheeks flushed as I knew she had seen my wrenching hunched form, the exposure of my weakness in front of her left me vulnerable to my anxiety, scared for her scorn at such a display of how pathetic I was. Her turned down eyebrows seemed to stretch until I envision her leering at me in disgust.  
Her curt voice banished the illusion, "this is the 'Leaky Cauldron',-" we were currently by an alley, she was motioning to a small pub, dingy and wedged in between two buildings, the grubby shop seemed to blend in with the street, one wouldn't notice it at first glance and no one seemed to be paying it any heed, people simply walked by as if they couldn't see it.  
"An entrance to Diagon Ally. Tom the barkeeper knows who you are and has been informed to give you a room to wait in until you are visited by the family who will help you buy everything you need. You have a beginners bank account at Gringotts, here is your key,"  
She explained things in a brisk, assertive manner, and I nodded in an attempt to not seem like I was dumb, I worried I had already screwed something up already to deserve her clipped tons. I loitered outside the door for a moment, not wanting to seem lost or confused.  
She gave a nod to the door that felt like a punch to my gut as I feared a reprimanding gleam would be present if I looked her in the eye, unimpressed at me.  
With that cue a loud crack echoed through the bustling road as she disappeared.  
Swallowing I uncertainly opened the door, wincing as it creaked and breathing a sigh of relief that no one seemed to notice.  
I dodged around the tables strewn around the dingy room and halted at the bar.  
A grumpy looking old man with no hair came up to me, removing himself from a conversation he was having with a woman smoking a pipe. With a sneer that revealed several yellowing teeth he asked, "River Pheonix?"  
I nodded tentatively and he rushed to the other side of the counter, motioning for me to follow.  
"Your' lucky I say, we're all out o' rooms but ye escorts already 'ere." He grinned at me, he gestured to a huddled family clustered in a corner.  
The mother seemed to be fussing over a smaller figure, wild hair seemed a trait in this family as it flowed untamed around their shoulders.  
"Baby girl, you're all grown up! Now Nobbs needs to buy some stuff for her new job, and with the new school supplies we need to go to the bank first, where is-"  
The mother was smoothing the hair down of the smallest figure and was cut off her ranting by the figure breaking free and barrelling towards me.  
"River!"  
I saw a blur of chocolate hair flew in my vision before a force crashed into me, recognising the voice I didn't resist as Iris' arms strangled me.  
"You're a wizard too?!"  
I nodded, my eyebrows drawn together, still apprehensive about the whole situation.  
"Oh hello sweetie! It's nice you're a wizard too, now Baby has a friend already in her first year, an' she was so sad about leaving you."  
Mrs Nobbington smiled sweetly, Luciana (more commonly Lu) - Iris' older sister - nodded coolly.  
Danni was wearing a a cargo green, baggy jacket, her usual tomboy style, and had her coco brown hair pulled into a ponytail with her fringe out, I could tell she had straightened it because it was usually wild with rich brown curls. (If you want to know what she looks like search up the character Amanda from Dream Daddy Iris saw my confused look and promptly explained, "we're halfbloods. Mum's a witch, dad's a muggle, sorry I couldn't tell you." I smiled kindly at her.  
Emma - Iris' other older sister - called out from outside, beckoning us to hurry, we followed her voice only to stop at a brick wall directly outside the pub.  
Emmy was wearing a large denim jacket with a probably vintage T shirt underneath, badges littered her jacket and her hair was its usual frizzy bob that perfectly matched her large, circular, colour tinted glasses. Rocking the vintage 70's look. Mrs Nobbington flourished a smooth black wand from her handbag, she tapped it smartly against some bricks and suddenly the wall caved away, bricks moved to the side, the wall folding open so a reasonable gap served as a doorway.  
The moment the wall opened my ears were assaulted with the hustle of hundreds of people, moving about into shops and yelling over the crowd.  
The sea of people created a cacophony of noises, shouting pierced by the occasional bell on a shop door.  
My breathing quickened, my hands automatically finding its way to Iris' who held her hand out for me, my vision swam as my mind counted a million scenarios with pessimistic outcomes.  
Gripping her hand in a death grip I felt guilty for how clammy my hands were in hers, I took a shaky breath as we plunged into the ocean of bodies.  
We were jostled harshly, I squeezed my ears shut to avoid the looming figures leering over me like gargoyle statues, I felt like a million eyes bore into my soul with scorning gazes and Iris squeezed my hand reassuringly.  
Mrs Nobbington barged through confidently, with the occasional shout, parting the crowd like Moses.  
I kept my eyes shut as we walked, guided by Iris I didn't open my eyes until she let go of my hand, when I opened them I saw through the curtain of my eyelashes that everyone was staring at me expectantly.  
I felt myself flush with embarrassment, how long was a standing with my eyes shut? Did they think I was weird?  
Mrs Nobbignton moved past the awkward moment, rushing us inside the large bronze doors, moving us through another set of silver doors immediately after, with no time to read the inscription in bold letters.  
As we stepped through we entered a large marble hall, the ceiling was the sky and the walls were cliffs, several doors leading out of the hall and in the centre a long counter was surrounded by goblins on high stools.  
Goblins?  
They were short in stature and had sneering faces in a constant form of disgust, like gargoyles, they each had a different job, some weighing gold coins, some examining stones through magnifying glasses. It was a bustle of activity.  
I hurried after the Nobbingtons, mrs Nobbington pulling up a chair and leaning across the counter to talk in the ear of a goblin.  
Iris leaned over and hissed in my ear, "goblins, kinda bitchy but they manage the bank, although rather sketchily and with no mercy or kindness, so it's really not that different from muggle banking." I couldn't help but agree.  
A goblin rushed past us carrying a bag that Jingled as he walked, he turned to us and snarled before carrying on.  
Iris muttered darkly, "grumpy ass mother-" "Hey! Baby girl!" Iris straightened out at the sound of her nickname, eyes wide with guilt and fear of being caught, her fears were not needed however as mrs Nobbington only asked, "does River have her key?"  
At this I jumped into action, trying not to seem clueless or disorganised I withdrew the key given to me by the professor.  
The goblin nodded his approval, he gestured to another goblin who came rushing over to our aid.

~~~~~~

The bell above the door sounded my entry as I walked into the shop my satchel jingling beside me as it hit my side. I turned and nodded to Iris who was waiting outside, looking queasy from the cart ride, her face disgruntled as her mum and sisters walked away to several other shops for other necessities.  
She didn't follow me in the store for robes as she would get some handed down.  
A plump squat old woman hurried out from the back of the store, smiling kindly at me - Madam Malkin judging by the shops' sign - she was decked out in mauve and promptly took one look at me before escorting me to the back of the shop.  
Here two boys were already standing on footstools while a witch pinned up the robes of the blonde, Madam Malkin herself snapped her fingered impatiently, returning to the messy raven haired boy.  
Another witch came out from the store and moved a footstool, taking the hint I stepped up quietly.  
The boy in front of me was wearing glasses and had bright green eyes, he seemed to be talking with the boy beside him, talking seemed a stretch however, it was more like he was looking uncomfortable as the blonde drawled with a bored look on his face.  
"I say, look at that man!" The blonde suddenly exclaimed, nodding outside the shop where a large burly man with a scraggly beard stood waving, he lifted two ice creams to the raven haired boy and turned to Iris, diving into conversation.  
"That's Hagrid, he works at Hogwarts," the boy in glasses said, seeming relieved at finally being able to contribute. I felt awkward just standing there and worried they would think I was an eavesdropping weirdo so I focused on the scratching of the pin in my arm.  
"Oh, I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant isn't he?"  
It's was the blonde. Of course it was.  
"I think he's brilliant," the boy with glasses replied coldly, my ears burned.  
"Do you," judgement was practically rolling off the boy and I could detect the sneer in his voice. I didn't interrupt for fear of receiving his judgement too.  
"Why is he with you? Where are your parents?"  
"They're dead,"  
Why did it take so long to fit clothes?  
I felt increasingly uncomfortable and awkward.  
"Oh sorry, but they were our kind, weren't they?"  
"They were a witch and wizard, if that's what you mean."  
The boy made a sound and wheeled to face me, immediately I wished he hadn't as there was a leer on his face and I was instantly afraid of saying something wrong, creating a bad first impression.  
"What about you?" He drawled, "are your parents witches and wizards?" He patronised.  
I shook my head, eyes wide at his sudden question, his attention focused on me nearly made me collapse under his leering gaze.  
Instantly his nostrils flared and he fixed me with a cold glare before turning back to the other boy, talking in a carrying voice pointedly.  
"I really don't think they should let the other sort in, do you? They're just not the same, they've never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they got the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it to old wizarding families."  
Tears clouded my vision at the obvious jab at me and I ducked my head, missing the raven haired boy looking like he was about to retort hotly.  
He was interrupted from coming to my defence when Madam Malkin said, "that's you done, my dear," and the boy hopped down, the witch attending to me nodded at me to show I was finished too and I jumped down relieved.  
I heard the blonde say a goodbye to the boy as I dashed out of the shop, grabbing Iris' hand again I briskly speed walked away in an attempt to avoid confrontation or socialising.  
I was yanked back however by Iris, she stood stock still next to Hagrid, she gave me a reassuring look that calmed me down slightly as she motioned to Hagrid who took that as his cue and spoke.  
"Yer River are yeh? I got sommaht for yeh," he began patting down his coat, "Dumbledore gave it to me, made it as soon as he 'eard 'bout yeh."  
Finally he emptied a pocket in his coat, dumping several trinkets in Iris' arms, a mice shaking its head and jumping off, appearing to find what he was looking for he withdrew a silver object, handing it to me.  
I took it slowly, on a silver chain hung a transparent sphere made out of glass, inside were several gears, curved to fit against the glass, two gold bands crossed over the outside of the glass.  
My eyebrows drew together and I looked up at Hagrid again, momentarily forgetting my previous sadness.  
He nodded his head eagerly at me and slowly I put the necklace on, confused when it remained inanimate I turned to Iris and began signing.  
"What do I-"  
My question was cut off. That wasn't Iris translating.  
I looked down at the necklace and stared at it for a moment before signing again, this time keeping my eye on the piece of jewellery.  
I felt my fingers brush as I signed, the necklace in an instant became animated, the gears turning, picking speed and the gold bands around the ball burning white before the voice came again, ringing from the object dangling from my neck.  
"It's amazing!"  
The voice was feminine but warm, sounding relatively human rather than robotic.  
Hagrid beamed, he turned to the shop door where the raven haired boy exited, relinquished from a last minute conversation with Madam Malkin.  
At this confrontation with the boy who had previously excluded me from conversation I turned around and grabbed Iris' hand, the necklace briefly illuminated as it spoke, "thanks!" Before we dashed away.

We reunited with the other Nobbingtons outside a narrow shop with peeling old letters, Ollivanders: makers of fine wands since 382 BC - as we had planned before splitting - where we finally stopped running, taking the opportunity to bend down and wheeze, lungs burning, both Iris and I lacking stamina.  
After catching her breath and wasting it again on an incoherent but alarmingly - to those who didn't know her at least - vulgar string of swear words, Iris straightened and rejoiced with me at my new trinket, happy to finally have a more direct way of speaking with me.  
Mrs Nobbington was fascinated with the object and cheerfully told me so before steering us inside Ollivanders.  
Entering inside the shop immersed us in a different world, the sounds of the street were dulled and it was dark and quiet, giving off the impression of a library with small long boxes lined and stacked on different shelves.  
Behind the counter a spindly old man stood, muttering to himself as he flitted about putting back boxes that were in a stack on the counter.  
He called out to us, "just a moment." Placing a box on a high shelf before turning to face us.  
"Ah," his voice betrayed his old age and carried a hint of wistfulness, "Rosa, Emma and Luciana; oak - fourteen inches, birch - thirteen inches, ash - thirteen inches, you are all taking good care of them I assume?"  
There were sounds of assent and he nodded satisfied, Iris stepped forward at her mother's nudge and he smiled at her and immediately dived behind shelves.  
"Another child hmm?" He said jovially, "hmm, ah! I know just the one! Wait a moment," he hurried back with fast and eager steps, giving a wand to Iris.  
"Go on," he prompted and she took it out of the case, almost immediately he made a sound in the back of his throat, seizing the wand and returning it to its case before he rushed away.  
He returned with another wand, tutting to himself.  
"Of course - mustn't be so hasty - perhaps, this one" he held out the wand and Iris looked at him with a raised eyebrow as she took it, she held it aloft as Ollivander narrated.  
"Black Walnut, twelve and a half inches, dragon heartstring, reasonably swishy and quite prone to charm work."  
Iris stared at it in awe before confidently directing it, a small torrent of purple fire shot out of the end, spiralling in the air before disappearing.  
A loud cheer sounded from the door and mrs Nobbington frantically clapped her hands, "good job Bubby!"  
Iris shyly grinned happily, Ollivander smiling proudly before leaning over the counter to collect the money, advising her carefully. "You must be careful with that one, it could be rather difficult under certain circumstances."  
"Now, what is your name?" He asked as Iris stood beside me, cradling her wand happily.  
"River."  
His eyes flitted down to my necklace as it spoke, gazing at it with curiosity and wonder.  
"I see..." He trailed off and I squirmed under his X-Ray gaze. Perhaps he noticed my discomfort because he pushed away from me and walked back between shelves.  
He repeated the process for Iris' wand, giving me a wand and description before snatching it away as soon as I held it.  
This happened a few more times before he snatched another away and didn't return to the back of the shop, instead choosing to lean over the counter and look at me very closely, muttering under his breath.  
"Yes of course - the wand must choose - why, I didn't notice - must take into consideration," he hummed before jumping with renounced vigour and dashing behind the shelves again.  
I heard his voice as he called to us from the back of the store, narrating.  
"Willow, unicorn hair, swishy and lovely for defence against the dark arts,"  
He was breathless as he held it out to me and I took it, feeling his expectant eyes on me my vision was shrouded as I felt pressured, my anxiety kicking in making the edges of my vision blur and darken. Then I realised it wasn't my vision that was going dark.  
I looked up to see the light above being covered in intertwining origami vines casting a penumbra over the shop, only specs of light filtering through.  
A warm breeze flew through the shop, papers flying everywhere, folding mid air to form butterflies that danced around me, they unfolded swiftly, falling to the ground and the light glowed unhindered as the vines fell too.  
I stared down at the small stick in my hands in awe and looked up at Ollivander who stood with a happy expression on his face.  
Reaching into my satchel I paid him before we left the shop, diving back into the relentless torrent of people, my hand once again finding Iris' as I felt my anxiety overwhelm me.

~~~~~~

When the first of September finally came mum and my brothers escorted me to the station, meeting up with the Nobbingtons they showed us how to get through to platform nine and three quarters.  
"Just run at the wall."  
"She has to do what?"  
"Don't worry Kim, perfectly safe. Lu and Iris will go first, go on hurry up"  
At her prompt they took off running to the wall, disappearing as soon as they reached the bricks.  
My mum gaped as mrs Nobbington confidently charged after them.  
Bursting from the brick I slowed down my barrelling run, looking around frantically, I was somewhere else, underneath a sign that said 'platform nine and three quarters'. I had ended up in the right place but my heart rate sped until it was roaring like a thousand drums in my ears, I couldn't spot the Nobbingtons everywhere.  
The train whistle shrieked and startled me, I was jostled mercilessly, the walls seemed to be closing in and my vision tunnelled, the silhouettes of lots of people passing before me.  
I hunched over in defence and squeezed my eyes shut, a tear escaping, my hair whipped my face as I tried to locate a familiar face and I was trembling ferociously.  
Suddenly Iris appeared before me, holding my shoulders securely and wrapping me in a comforting hug, mum seized my bag as she appeared from the brick behind me and together they hustled me through the crowd to the edge of the platform.  
My breathing slowed as we mounted the train, mum muttering words of farewell and my brothers faintly yelling in the distance.  
"Send me a magic pear!" From Jay, he nodded satisfied I had heard him with a pleased and determined look on his face at the prospect of receiving a magic pear.  
Cole stood off to the side looking around in awe, and mum waved to me as we leaned out of a window waving before we ventured to find a place to put our bags.  
I stuck behind Iris the entire time, she moved past full carriages, determined to find an empty cabin, considerate of my anxiety and her own hatred of human kind.  
Finally, nearing the end of the train, we found and empty train and filed in, Iris collapsing on the seat as we waited for the train to fill with students so we could move.  
I sat opposite her after placing my bag above us, she smiled at me and shut the door - myself instantly relaxing as we were shut off from society - before speaking.  
"Did you see the new Doctor Who episodes?"  
My eyes lit up, "yes! I didn't get to watch the last one though," the cool feminine voice from my necklace spoke.  
A grin unfurled on her face as she reached into her bag and pulled out her iPad, "watch this."  
She opened setting and found a WiFi signal labelled, 'carriage 27' clicking on it before typing; 'hoggywartysherbetlemon'  
"Em found it in fourth year."

Approximately an hour later the train had already been in motion since the episode ended and we had moved on to reading Iris' fanfiction when the door to the compartment slid open.  
I quickly recoiled away from Iris and sat upright, a British accent rang out.  
"Have you seen my toad? His name is Trevor."  
A shy boy stood fidgeting at the door, he was our age and slightly chubby, we both shook our heads and he moved on.  
Almost immediately after a plump woman passed with a trolley, Iris sat up alert and called out to her, "are you the trolley lady? Can we have something?"  
She was digging in her pockets when the lady said, "sorry loves, boys in the other compartment had it all," and moved on.  
Iris slumped in her seat, "selfish bastards."  
The compartment door opened again, a girl our age with freckles and long brown hair poked her head through.  
"Hi, do you mind if I sit?" We shook our heads and she sat down beside me, making me shuffle to the side slightly.  
"I'm Nancy, Nancy Mulligan." We politely introduced ourselves, her eyes widened when my necklace spoke for me and I explained I was mute (my necklace doing the explaining of course).  
"So what house do you think you'll be in? I bet I'm in Hufflepuff," she puffed out the last word with a pout.  
"Well, my mum was Gryffindor but my sister were both in Ravenclaw."  
"I don't know the houses."  
"You don't?" "Oh right, I forgot"  
Being from half blood families they grew up at least knowing about Hogwarts and it made me slightly nervous and uncomfortable.  
They both launched into explanations and I nodded along, when their rant was finished Nancy looked outside the train and said, "we'll be there soon I think, better get changed."  
We changed into our uniforms, Nancy wearing a grey cardigan on over her shirt and Iris didn't bother putting on the cloak, complaining about sweating.  
I tied my cardigan around my waist and we heard a voice from above echo throughout the train, the same words that would signal my plunge into a new world.

 

"We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes' time. Please leave you luggage on the train, it will be taken to the school separately."


	3. Uh, what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorting hat. Take a guess or read. I Can't be bothered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note, when I say 'I said' it's the necklace talking, I don't feel like clarifying it's the necklace every time.

We navigated through the crowd, my hand once again attached to Iris, as we left the train we heard a booming voice call out.  
"Firs'-years! Firs'-years over here," following Hagrids' familiar voice we spotted his bushy beard over the crowd. "C'mon, follow me - any more firs'-years? Mind yer step, now! Firs'-years follow me!"  
We stumbled down a narrow, slippery slope, Nancy falling over clumsily once, we rounded a bend and a collective 'oooooh!' Rose from the crowd, trees opened to show a glistening black lake, on the other side of the lake chinks of light showed windows of a colossal castle, giant towers and turrets brushing the sky.  
By the shore was a small armada of boats suited to be able to fit four passengers, we clambered into a boat as Hagrid directed, Nancy, me and Iris all squeezing in.  
At a command shouted from Hagrid the fleet gently lurched forward. We ducked under some ivy vines to see a small sheltered harbour.  
The boats bumped the shore and we stepped out carefully, climbing up stone steps until we reached the castle door.  
"Everyone here? You there, still got yer toad?" Hagrid asked the boy we had seen on the train asking about a toad, and, satisfied, knocked on the door.  
The door swung open and Professor McGonagall stepped out, she was still wearing her emerald green robes and stern expression.  
"The firs'-years, Professor McGonagall," Hagrid announced.  
"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."  
She opened the door and we walked into the Entrance Hall.  
The stone walls were lit by torches and we followed the professor to outside a doorway.  
I could hear hundreds of voices buzzing and immediately fear gripped my stomach, the professor ushered us through and we walked through to a hall.  
I caught a glimpse of a ceiling mirroring the night sky and four tables before my feet rooted to the floor in fear, people were still moving past me and I felt an overwhelming sickness in the bottom of my gut.  
The clenching of my gut was accompanied by millions of worries dashing through my mind, each sprouting a separate vision of my humiliation.  
Tripping on my way up, failing to be picked for a house, everyone staring at our entrance made my knees feel oddly similar to lead.  
Every head in the hall was turned to us and I felt as if I might cry until just as the last of the first years straggled through the professor pulled me back and out of sight.  
I took a shuddering breath at being relinquished from the gaze of the rest of the school and looked up at professor McGonagall.  
"Professor Dumbledore has allowed that you stay here while the rest of the first years are being sorted," I saw a glimpse of concern in her gaze show through her stern demeanour.  
She waved her wand and a plate appeared in front of me, I took it and she explained, "food will appear when the feast begins."  
She then briskly walked back into the hall, I leant and peered from behind the wall, watching as the students stared in awe of the ceiling.  
Professor McGonagall placed a four legged stool in front of the staff table, raised on the stairs so I had a good view as she placed a pointed wizards hat on the stool.  
Everyone in the hall stared at the hat expectantly and she watched it closely, there was a beat of silence before a rip opened wide like a mouth and the hat promptly burst into song.  
"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,  
But don't judge on what you see,  
I'll eat myself if you can find  
A smarter hat than me.  
You can keep your bowler black,  
Your top hats sleek and tall,  
For I'm the Hogwarts sorting hat  
And I can cap them all.  
There's nothing hidden in your head  
The sorting hat can't see,  
So try me on and I will tell you  
Where you ought to be.  
You might belong in Gryffindor,  
Where dwell the brave at heart,  
Their daring, nerve and chivalry  
Set Gryffindors apart,  
You might belong in Hufflepuff,  
Where they are just and loyal,  
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true  
And unafraid of toil,  
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,  
If you've a ready mind,  
Where those of wit and learning,  
Will always find their kind,  
Or perhaps in Slytherin  
You'll make your real friends,  
Those cunning folk use any means  
To achieve their ends.  
So put me on! Don't be afraid!  
And don't get in a flap!  
You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
For I'm a thinking cap!"  
A roar of applause burst from the hall and the hat became quite still again.  
Iris was looking around for me and Nancy joined her after she murmured a few concerned words to her, Nancy spotted me around the corner of the Hall and nudged Iris who furrowed her eyebrows at me.  
She seemed to draw the connection quickly as I saw comprehension dawn in her eyes followed by relief and she sent me a reassuring smile, turning back to Professor McGonagall who addressed the students, holding a long roll of parchment.  
"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted, Abbot Hannah!"  
After the blonde girl in pigtails sat down and the hat fell over her eyes the hat shouted, "HUFFLEPUFF!"  
This continued for a while until Nancy was called out, she ran up the steps and nervously placed the hat on her freckled head, almost immediately after it yelled out, "HUFFLEPUFF!" And Nancy ran to the table on the right.  
Iris was called out shortly after and I shuffled around to give my whole attention to her.  
The hat perched on her head for a moment and sat for a while, contemplating, after about a minute or two it shouted out, "RAVENCLAW!"  
After a few more names the professor called out, "Potter, Harry!" And whispers erupted through the hall, I saw a familiar boy walk up to the hat and recognised it as the boy in Madam Malkins and hid again, only listening to the call of "GRYFFINDOR!" After a moment.  
Accompanying this was a cheer so loud it shook the hall and I jumped a little.  
After the shouts of houses sorted and the cheers had died down after one last 'Zabini, Blaise' was sorted, I risked poking my head out again, in the middle of the high table a silver haired wizard with a long beard whom I could only assume was Dumbledore stood up.  
"Welcome!" He spoke, spreading his arms wide and beaming, "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"  
I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled in my throat as he sat down. Suddenly the plate in front of me filled to the brim with a variety of foods, looking into the hall I saw that it was a similar effect there, a cornucopia of foods decorating the table and on the table on the left I saw Iris light up with glee.  
I looked at the food on my plates, brussel sprouts and potato mash were some of my favourites but now my stomach churned so much I felt like I couldn't keep anything down, picking up a sprout I put it in my mouth, it was warm and tasty but it felt dry in my throat. Another sprout appeared to take the place of the missing sprout.  
Steps echoed throughout the corridor and a tall girl who looked older than me poked her head out of the hall, she looked at me and I immediately stood, embarrassed at being caught moping. She smiled kindly, her hair was orange and her tie was yellow, the colour of the Hufflepuff house.  
Her hair was in a ponytail and she spoke quietly, "professor McGonagall sent me to take you to her office," her voice was soft and invited a warm sensation in my heart so I nodded, standing up and glancing unsurely at my still full plate. She followed my eyesight and assured me, "don't worry, the house elves will clean that up."  
I fell into step behind her nervously, she introduced herself. "I'm Gracadia. Gracadia Prewett, but most people just call me Grace." I nodded and my necklace replied, "River Pheonix."  
Her eyes strayed to my necklace and I flushed, scared I had done something wrong already, instead she just chose not to mention it and continued walking.  
Soon enough we came to a small office where she invited me to sit before leaving.  
Still standing I sat down slowly, fiddling nervously with the knot of the cardigan tied at my waste. The door swung open and I turned to see professor McGonagall holding the sorting hat from the hall. I heard footsteps outside and figured that the feast had ended, she held the door open and professor Dumbledore himself stepped through.  
My eyes widened at his presence and I involuntarily shuffled in my seat, the headmaster must have noticed this as he surveyed me over his glasses.  
"River, I am glad you have decided to attend our school, I hope you feel as comfortable as possible," his voice was steady and soothing and my stiff posture relaxed slightly, "we will sort you into your house and you will be lead there by professor McGonagall, the prefects notified of your attendance." I nodded slowly and his demeanour shifted, at once he brightly smiled and in a light voice offered, "sherbet lemon?"  
I shook my head and he shrugged popping one into his own mouth, professor McGonagall eyed him with disapproval before clearing her throat.  
"Er- yes, right. Now you will be sorted." He said sheepishly and the hat was placed on my head.  
The brim fell over my eyes and I was swamped in darkness, suddenly a small voice in my ear whispered.  
"Hello, well, you are interesting. Such wit, all hidden inside with that creativity, you certainly have the mind of a Ravenclaw." My heart jolted as I remembered that was Iris' house. "Then again the heart of a Hufflepuff, so loyal. Hmmm, perhaps?... Quite unorthodox but I see it deep inside of you, even where you yourself can't find it." The voice echoed from the outside of the hat to the professors. "I think, Gryffindor!"  
My heart stopped, I was so shocked that I didn't move. Had I heard right? Wasn't that the house for those with 'daring and nerve'? Attributes I clearly lacked.  
I only moved when the hat was pulled off my head to reveal the slightly surprised expression professor McGonagall was quick to hide. Professor Dumbledore merely had an amused expression and a twinkle in his eye.  
"Well, Gryffindor it is. Follow me"  
The last thing I saw before the door shut as McGonagall lead me to my new house was Dumbledores' secretive smile.  
As we walked the professor explained some rules to me in a business like manner, "the forest around the grounds is forbidden to all students, Magic is forbidden between classes and this year the third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds under severe consequences." Her tone was foreboding in this last rule and she turned up a marble staircase, trotting up winding staircases and through passages, after a while we slowed down in front of a large painting.  
In the painting a fat woman in a fancy pink dress sat, surveying our approach, "password?" I felt so overwhelmed I wasn't that surprised when the painting spoke given all that had occurred in a short span of time.  
"Caput draconis," the professor answered and the painting swung forward to show a lavish room, comfortable armchairs spread in the cozy common room.  
McGonagall lead me through a door and up a staircase, when we walked through a door I saw five beds, three filled with hunched figures and one illuminated by a lamp, a girl with bushy brown hair sat one the bed, reading a huge book.  
She looked up as we came in and stood up immediately, "professor!" She was surprised.  
"Miss Granger was it?" The girl nodded and turned to the other beds saying; "the others fell asleep at once but I was going to read 'Hogwarts: a history' again. Oh!" She finally noticed me and I stepped behind the professors again, "who are you?"  
"This is River, she has been sorted later and will be staying here."  
The girl nodded, "I wondered who's bags those were," she gestured to my trunk beside the remaining empty bed.  
The professor gave me a curt nod before abruptly departing, the girl stared at me as I stood in the middle of the floor.  
"I'm Hermione Granger," she finally introduced, holding her hand out, I eyed it warily before shaking it carefully.  
"River Pheonix." Her eyes travelled to my necklace and she gazed at it in awe and fascination, I felt as if this would be a trend with most people I met.  
"That's amazing! Are you mute?" She asked, rather blunt and her ears turned slightly pink as she realised how rude she was being. I nodded, unperturbed by her brashness.  
My eyes fell on her book that she was reading, "it's 'Hogwarts: a history'," she told me and I nodded, digging my own out of my bag.  
"Have you read it yet?" As I shook my head she suggested, "you should, it's really interesting."  
I nodded with a small smile, "do you like reading?" She nodded happily and I smiled too, putting my textbook back I drew out another, smaller book and showed it to her.  
"The Illiad? I haven't read that yet, I've been wanting to though," I smiled, saying, "you should! Here." I gave her the book and she took it, thanking me gratefully.  
She jumped onto her bed and placed it on her nightstand, "we should probably sleep, it's our first day tomorrow," I nodded and drew the curtains to change into my pyjamas as she explained how eager she was to start classes and learning magic, diving under the covers I fell asleep within a few seconds.


	4. Fluffy and a Quidditch match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River is confused as to why she is in the Gryffindor house, supposedly for those of daring nerve and brave hearts. However she looks over this and continues in her year, getting introduced to Wuidditch and Fluffy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nancy gets very competitive.

"Gryffindor?"  
"That what the hat said."  
"Well, what's wrong then?"  
"What if it made some sort of mistake? I mean I'm-"  
"Noooooo." Iris dragged out the last word in a small whine, cutting me off. We were currently having a conversation in the back of the library, I was fretting over my new house in my small anxious voice, Iris continued her interruption.  
"Nooooo, don't go on about how you're not special or brave 'cause you're amazing. And anyway, maybe it means some inner bravery bull. That sounds like something you'd expect in a magic school."  
I sighed, changing the subject to her own house.  
"It's great, I guess. We have to answer a riddle to get in the common room though, I'm slightly scared I'll get it wrong and be locked out, I wish the hat picked you too for Ravenclaw, then I would have someone to suffer through all the human interactions with. Plus you know a lot of riddles."  
I smiled at her attempt to cheer me up, knowing she was concerned about my anxiety alone with all these new people. Quite honestly I was too.  
In the back of the library away from any chance of social interaction we wandered through the shelves.  
"By the way, what do you know about that Potter kid? The one in your house." Seeing my confused look she elaborated, "everyone's freaking out with him here like he's some celebrity, in this mornings' transfiguration you saw how people were whispering, I asked some people and they said he killed 'you know who' um, no I don't know! So I'm looking for a book about it. It's annoying because all the people raised magically seem to know about him but mum left to Australia with dad so it must be something that happened here after she left. Why wouldn't she tell me?"  
"Maybe a different subject before you tear that book?" I asked tentatively.  
She was currently gripping a book in a death grip in irritation, I pried the book away from her hands and she took a breath, nodding.  
"Do you think mailbox flags really exist or is it just some conspiracy invented by the government to cover up something?"

~~~~~~

The week flew by and it was soon Friday, finally a day off. Throughout the week during potions lessons professor Snape would interrogate 'Harry Potter' and unfairly subtract points for our house.  
I met up with Nancy and Iris as we walked down to the grounds, we sat down under a tree by the lake.  
Iris, Nancy and I talked, laughing loudly as we told inappropriate jokes and Iris cussed like a sailor when the giant squid surprised her by making an entrance, lazily lifting one of its tentacles.  
Once she recovered from her surprise she sighed forlornly and held her wand aloft in front of her, scrutinising it with confusion, when I asked what was wrong she shrugged.  
"I don't know. I'm just not sure about my wand. I can't get it to do stuff and I'm worried, what if I'm just really terrible at Magic? I'm a Ravenclaw, we have to be smart and what if I fail and have no job or anything 'cause I can't do stuff? Then I'll live poor and alone!" She ranted stressfully, Nancy frantically tried calming her down and I supported her.  
"It's okay, not everyone can do all the stuff in the first year. I mean, have you seen anyone actually complete a charm in our year?"  
She took a deep breath but we could still tell she was dwelling on it mentally, Nancy tried distracting her with some stories of her muggle aunt.  
I folded some paper, listening to Nancy talk about her family, creasing it carefully I nodded along as she commented on the ridiculous letters she had gotten from her muggle aunt, chuckling as she recounted the story of her aunt under the influence of laughing gas for an operation.  
"And she comes into the living room and says; 'there's a helicopter in the kitchen!' And we went and it was just the fan!"  
She gestured wildly with her hands and Iris and I burst out into laughter - well, Iris did, I merely snorted.  
Creasing a final fold I held up the origami butterfly, about as large as my hand, folding it again so I could fit it in my pocket without bending it.  
The following week went mostly without delay, in potions class the teacher was rather unfair toward 'Harry Potter' and the next morning when the post came I sat next to Hermione, when Neville got a clear sphere with red smoke in it Hermione explained the function, "it's a rememberall, when the smoke turns red, it means you've forgotten something."  
"Only problem is, I can't remember what I forgot." Neville replied hopelessly, I glanced up briefly, assessing him before turning back to my plate. He had forgotten his robe I'd say, but didn't speak up.  
Across the table two boys were hunched over the newspaper, reading it out loud.  
"Look, someone's broken into Gringotts!" Harry read out the article, revealing that he and Hagrid had visited that vault.  
Later we had a class for flying brooms, I felt rather foolish yelling 'up' nervously at the broom. There was some disruption when Malfoy - who I had learnt was the blond from Madame Malkins - stole Nevilles rememberall after he fell. Which prompted Harry to take after him and make a daring catch on his broom, while everyone was cheering however McGonagall swept in, robes billowing out behind her to take Harry.  
Later that day I found out what exactly had happened when I was studying with Hermione in the yard, we overheard Harry's passing conversation with a red head - who's name I had learned was Ron - and Hermione promptly stood up.  
Hermione steered me with her as she sped up to catch up with the two, joining in their conversation just as Harry voiced his concerns about messing up.  
Ron was talking about Harry's new position as Gryffindor seeker, apparently McGonagall had given him the position.  
Hermione sighed impatiently, "you won't fail Harry, it's in your blood!" She affirmed, seeing our confused looks she beckoned us to follow her as she lead us down a corridor. I trotted unsurely behind her.  
We quickly sped down several hallways, coming to a stop at a trophy case where Hermione pointed to a trophy, engraved in the middle was the name, 'James Potter - Gryffindor seeker'.  
Ron gaped, "woah, Harry, you didn't tell me your dad played seeker!" Harry stared at the trophy in silent wonder, "I didn't know."  
We walked up the stairs, I turned as I saw the barrister retract into the wall behind us, and the stair started moving. Up ahead Ron stopped talking about Hermione and Harry yelled, "what's happening?" "The staircases change, remember?" Hermione reminded him, when the stairs stopped they lead to a door and the others climbed off quickly.  
"Let's go this way." Harry said, "before the staircase moves again." Ron reproached.  
I followed them scared, we walked into a corridor and the room immediately seemed to darken ominously.  
Ron took notice of the dreary change and spoke up fearfully, "does anyone get the feeling, we're not supposed to be here?" "We aren't supposed to be here, this is the third floor. It's forbidden!" Hermione chastised him angrily, reminding us of the speech on the first day. I glanced around quickly and went to leave through the door again only to be cut off as a cat jumped in front of me and a torch lit up ominously behind me, at this the others seemed to get the same idea as me, "let's go!" Only to stop when they saw we had been cut off. "It's Filches' cat!" Hermione hissed and we began running the opposite direction, torches lighting our way.  
"Let's hide through this door!" Harry yelled, swiftly fumbling with the bolt in an attempt to open it. "It's locked!" He yelled in frustration. "That's it, we're done for." Ron whimpered. Quickly glancing back at the door I directed my wand at the lock and whispered, "alohamora." Without thinking twice, "good one," Hermione praised me as we cluttered in and shut the door behind us.  
"Alohamora?" Ron turned to me, Hermione rescued me with her all knowing air, "standard book of spells, chapter seven. Unlike you some of us actually do study." She told him.  
Just then we heard a drawling voice outside the door. "Anyone here my sweet?" There was a pause before Filch said, "come on." And we heard him retreating.  
That was the least of my worries however, Harry and I were more focused on the huge three headed dog snoring away at our feet.  
"And for good reason." Harry said as a continuation of Hermione and Ron's argument.  
The dogs head shuffled tiredly and though I knew I should be scared I couldn't help but feel reminded of my dogs that we had back in Australia.  
It blinked it's eyes blearily open and a yawn escaped it's mouth before its eyes found us and all three heads reared up, growling and snarling before lunging at us as the others yelled in unison. Running back out the door as the dog lunged at us its jaws open, saliva flying as it jammed it's head through the door we were forcefully attempting to Close. Our small bodies weren't able to overpower the beast however, as one of its head came through slowly, opening the door wider and wider.  
Instinctively I remembered our dogs at home quickly ducked under its flying jaws, wrenching a loose large splinter of wood from the door and shaking it around the dogs head. It's head followed the movement for a bit before I threw the stick as hard as I could behind the dogs and its head immediately retracted. There was a sound of barks and scrambling claws against stone as we finally shut the door with a sigh of relief.  
We dashed out of the room, my heart was pounding wildly and Ron ranted, "what do they think they're doing? Keeping a thing like that locked up in a school!" We had finally reached the common room, and Hermione immediately scolded him, "you don't use your eyes do you? Didn't you see what it was doing?" "I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads, or maybe you didn't notice, there were three!" He yelled at her as we climbed the staircase. "It was standing on a door , which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something." Finally Harry spoke up with curiosity, "guarding something?"  
"Yes, now, if you two don't mind, I'm going back to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled." She told them pointedly before we both shut the door to the dorm room behind us. She clambered straight into her bed, quickly dressing in her pyjamas beforehand. I followed, my heart was still hammering at the dog but I couldn't help but think of it in sympathy, cooped up in a room with no company.  
I slowly drifted into a sleep, resolving to telling Iris in the morning.

When the morning finally came I raced down to the library, quickly grabbing a slice of toast on the way. I couldn't see Iris at her table and so I ran to the back of the library where I saw her sketching on a piece of paper with a pencil, books and parchment scattered around her. She greeted me tiredly.  
"What are you doing?" I asked, assessing the mess.  
"Procrastinating." She replied, barely looking up as she shoved a few books to the side to make room for me.  
"Isn't a Ravenclaw supposed to, you know?-" "don't tell me how to live my life."  
I nodded, used to her behaviour before relaying to her my story from last night. She shared my empathetic opinion about the dog being cooped up with no friends or any way to exercise, only her expression of disgust at whoever decided to put it there was displayed with a lot more vulgarity and swearing.  
Later that day, we were in charms class, I sat next to Iris who showed exceptional interest in the subject and professor Filtwick was immensely happy to answer her eager questions.  
Today we were learning about the levitating charm, Hermione in the row in front of me chastising Ron, who sat next to her for his pronunciation and haphazardly waves of his wand.  
"Stop, stop, stop, you're going to take someone eye out. And anyway you're saying it wrong, it's Levi-OH-sah not Levio-SAH."  
She criticised, and directing her wand at the feather in front of her at his prompting she said the words and the feather promptly floated into the air, professor Flitwick joyfully complimenting her.  
"Well done. See here everyone, miss Grangers done it!"  
Ron slumping in his seat grumpily, Iris smiling encouragingly at me and we tried again to levitate the feathers, Iris looked about ready to murder someone when a feather belonging to a boy with an Irish accent in the front row exploded, making her fall off her chair.  
We walked in a pair to our next class when we heard the Ron complaining obnoxiously to his friend, imitating Hermiones' voice meanly.  
"It's Levi-OH-sah, not Levio-SAH, honestly, the girl's a nightmare, no wonder she's not got any friends."  
Iris glowered at the red head as a figure pushed through them, bushy hair bouncing as she ran, letting out a strangled sob as she rushed away.  
"I think she heard you," Harry trailed off.  
During lunch I didn't touch my food, the hall seemed to close in even more without Iris by my side, finding it too suffocating I stood up and made my way to where I remembered the bathroom was. Catching Iris' concerned gaze on the way I forced a smile which dropped the moment I exited the hall, breaking into a run for the bathroom.  
I was panting when I finally slammed the door behind me, splashing water on my face, I started when I heard sobs over the running water.  
Turning the tap off I tip toed over to the cubicle, all others were empty but underneath the stall door I saw someone sitting on the floor.  
The sniffles died down and I recognised a voice as she sobbed again, Hermione was crying in the bathroom.  
Immediately a sweat broke out on the forehead and I considered running away, if she saw me she might think I was eavesdropping, but if I left she would be alone.  
I looked back and forth between the stall and the door that lead to solitude away from the confining pressure of socialising which I had ran here to escape from, chewing my lip in indecision.  
Slowly I pushed the door open, heart clenching as I saw the redness around Hermiones' eyes, she looked up at me, startled someone and interrupted her and I flushed in embarrassment.  
Licking my lips I stepped into the stall with her unsurely, sliding down the wall to awkwardly sit beside her. Hesitantly placing what I hoped was a reassuring hand on her shoulder though I suspected it resembled more an eagle trying to grip her.  
She wiped her eyes, embarrassed, "what are you doing here?"  
Not wanting to admit to the real for my being here I simply answered by diverting away from the question, "Ron is wrong, I think you're pretty great."  
Instantly I wanted to subtract the words and put them back inside my necklace, cursing myself inwardly, what if I said it wrong?  
Hermione looked up at me sadly, "you're just saying that, he's right, I have no friends."  
"I think of you as a friend."  
Did my necklace want to go solo? Was it acting of its own accord? It seemed to be so and I desperately wanted the ground to swallow me, thinking maybe I had acted too rashly, we didn't speak that often, maybe she thought I was a lonely sap who was desperate for friends.  
She looked up at me, blinking away tears. "Do you really?"  
"Yup."  
Shut up, shut up, shut up. Who says yup?  
She burst into tears again, had I done something? Oh no, she really did think I was weird.  
"Thank you!"  
I was confused for a moment as she leaned on me, I wrapped my arms around her carefully, mimicking the actions I had seen others do to comfort people.  
I felt stiff at the contact and entirely out of my comfort zone but I could hardly say that, I didn't feel too direly uncomfortable, the sensation was just rather new and unexpected.  
I felt a crinkle in my pocket and pulled out the origami butterfly I had made, lifting my wand I felt Hermione watching me curiously and I swallowed, my hand shaking slightly at the pressure of being watched.  
"Wingardium Leviosa."  
The butterfly shuddered a bit before it shakily lifted into the air, guided by my wand, it looked like the butterfly was flying and I felt relief swamp me knowing I had pulled off the spell.  
Hermione watched with sparkling eyes, partly because of the tears and I felt glad she had cheered up slightly.  
Suddenly a commotion sounded outside, shuffling noises and the sound of something being dragged along the floor, loud footsteps got closer and I slowly pushed open the door to look.  
Hermione followed me out carefully, we turned slowly to see a large monster hulking by the doorway. It's belly bulged out of some ripped rags fashioned into pants, it's skin the colour of snot and its head brushed the ceiling, it grunted, showing off yellowing and crooked teeth and Hermione screamed high pitched before we both ran back into the stall, locking the door we heard a roar and ducked as a large club flew over our heads, splinters flying everywhere.  
We ran and cowered against the wall, my heart was racing and it felt like every cell in my body was moving so fast my veins were on fire, like all the seconds in a minute weren't enough and everything else was in slow motion like a photo with a blurry background I was stuck in a bubble where every noise was faint and morphed, I didn't notice two boys running in until one threw himself into the troll, hooking his legs around its neck like a piggy back ride, the troll frantically shook his head, jumping around to shake him off.  
The troll raised its club and went to strike and the boy yelled desperately at the other to help when he yelled out "Wingaridum Leviosa!"  
The trolls club slipped out of its hand as it raised it, it looked at its empty hand in confusion before looking up where the club floated above it, it made a sound of despair before the club fell and struck it on the head, the troll swayed and, like an uprooted tree, collapsed to the ground.  
The boy impeded off just in time to escape unscathed, looking closer I saw it was Harry again, the read head who had insulted Hermione was beside him, looking at the troll in wonder he asked, "is it dead?" Harry shook his head slowly, "I think it's just knocked out." And leaning down he grasped a pointy wooden stick sticking out of the trolls nose and withdrew a wand, mucus coming with it to which Ron made a sound of disgust.  
"Eugh, troll bogeys."  
Just then the door flew open again and the teachers rushed in, staring wide eyed at the troll on the floor, professor Quirrel whimpered and fainted.  
I was still in the corner, by the


	5. Muggle room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris, Nancy and River find a haven to stay during breaks and as the Christmas holidays near things seem to calm down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inner sassy river makes an appearance.

When we were safely inside the school Iris finally let go of Nancy's mouth and she pouted, we turned down a corridor and immediately delved back into conversation, Iris starting us off on the topic of her sisters.  
"I saw Lu a couple times in the common room but Em has already graduated, but the best part is they can tell me stuff about the school no one else knows. I know where the kitchens are and stuff like that, there are secret passages going all around the school so I can get to places quicker. My favourite is the muggle section in the library, there's supposed to be a room, I've never tried it but it's supposed to have muggle stuff. We should try." And with that she promptly turned a corner and we followed, the library wasn't that far away and we reached there quickly, the tall dark bookshelves and flying books took up several stories.  
She lead us to the back of the library where there was a wooden wall as a break from the bookcases, on it was a marble statue of a deer head. Iris stroked the head and it turned to us with a slight grating noise, "we're here to go into the muggle room?" Iris was slightly caught off guard but informed the statue anyway, uncertainty in her voice.  
The deer looked at us for a moment before turning back to its previous position and the section of the wall grated open like a door, we glanced around quickly before slipping into the room and the wall shut behind us.  
It was dark and dreary for a moment before a soft glow lit up the room, coming from several lanterns on the wall that lit with magic.  
We were in a short narrow entryway, a set of steps leading to the actual room which was lit by more lanterns, a sea of the lanterns floated below the ceiling, bobbing slightly in the air, lighting themselves quickly.  
To either side of them was bookshelves lining the left and right walls, on the back wall they came out of was an old fashioned projector standing atop a mahogany desk.  
A white projector screen was on the other side of the room and in the corner was an old fashioned phone with no wire attached.  
Iris walked forward slowly, breathing out in awe, she tugged on the string at the bottom of the projector screen and it reeled up, the string jolting in the air at the force of going up so fast before it disappeared altogether along with the screen. Behind the screen was four tapestries depicting the crests for each of the houses, a few bean bags and comfy armchairs were scattered around the room.  
"Oh. My. God.... There's beanbags!!" Nancy squealed, launching herself onto a nearby beanbag with glee.  
Iris looked around in wonder, slowly walking to the back of the room where the projector was she picked it up and inspected it carefully. I let my fingers glide over the tapestries, the Slytherin one which I was touching swayed at my touch, I retracted my fingers quickly before pushing it to the side to see an empty passageway.  
I let the tapestry fall back, checking the others I found similar passageways, just then I heard Iris groan in frustration, I turned to find her glaring at the projector angrily.  
"What's this supposed to do?" She flicked it with her wand moodily, "work!"  
It seemed that that was the magic - pun intended - word as the projector rung to life, the wheels at the back turning with some noise, despite the lack of film light poured from the machine, falling on the tapestries and myself.  
I moved to the side of the room as the projector screen came down once again, the screen lighting up with the white light, we made sounds of awe.  
"Cool." Nancy said from her nest of beanbags she had gathered together, we could only see her head poking out from the blanket she wrapped around herself, Iris was looking at her with slight concern. "You're sure you're not suffocating there?"  
"I'm fine, what happens now?" Nancy replied and Iris tapped the projector again. "Er, play... Steven Universe."  
Nothing happened.  
Iris tried again, and twice more, tapping more impatiently and forcefully before Nancy went over to assist her, "here let me try." She tapped the projector and spoke clearly to the box, "play,-" she turned to us expectantly. "Steven Universe" Iris filled in, "Steven Universe?" Nancy questioned, the projector started up with a click sound as it accepted her questioning tone and suddenly colour flooded the screen.  
The image was clear and the audio too, clearly magic as the image wasn't at all grainy despite the age of the projector.  
The characters all appeared on screen and the theme song began playing and we settled onto the beanbags comfortably as the first episode played, Iris was explaining it to Nancy who had never watched the show before.  
I shuffled out of the view of the screen and inspected the shelves carefully, all the books were muggle books, Deltora quest and others similar to it.  
I sat down and took out my normal school books, the episode fading to background noise as I re-read all that I could, determined.  
Since enrolling in Hogwarts I had been weary of the fact that I came from an entirely different world, I had no prior experience with magic and now I was learning about it, it was - for lack of a better word - magical.  
I was going to make sure I studied hard so I wouldn't disappoint anyone, or be expelled for some reason.  
I never told Iris of my insecurities though, I figured she'd worry and didn't want to seem stupid. So for the rest of the episode I spent my time memorising notes and information, 'the act of transfiguration requires a strong mental will to allow the transformation to take place, this means...'  
The sun ambled across the sky and the adventures of Steven continued for a few more episodes as I read the whole book, 'a beginners guide to transfiguration' by Emeric Switch.  
(Yeah that's the real book what up bitches)  
We had the rest of the day to acquaint Nancy with all our favourite shows as the Quidditch day was a day off school.

As we neared Christmas and snow speckled the windowsills of the Gryffindor common room we found ourselves bundled further and further into winter clothing. Nancy didn't seem affected by the cold, the only explanation she gave was "I'm Canadian."  
When Christmas finally came the hall was only home to a few straggling students who decided to stay for the holidays, Iris and I were seated at her table, Nancy having already left to her place for Christmas.  
Iris and I had decided to stay for the holidays, my mum was still swamped in work from the divorce and unpacking, as well as deciding schools for my brothers and Iris was glad to be away from her mother's rather stressed attitude.  
I kept in contact with my family and mum had helped organise a present for Iris and Nancy, I had gotten Nancy a toy unicorn that moved.  
Iris had an enchanted device to play music with headphones, though neither were allowed their presents until Christmas.  
When Christmas morning came I raced with quick feet down the stairs, pausing only to put my presents for Harry and Ron by the fireplace, Ron had a bag of muggle sweets and Harry had some brownies. I had already sent an owl to Hermione with a history book of a wizarding school in America which I had found to be very interesting.  
I stopped by the portrait of the Fat Lady when I noticed something in the corner of my eye, a tapestry of the Gryffindor crest that looked exactly alike to the one in the muggle room I had promised to meet Iris in. Walking forward I brushed aside the fabric to see a wall, only looking closer I could see fissures in the shape of a door, brushing the stone with my fingers gently I felt about, feeling a carving in the middle of the door I looked closely but couldn't see anything.  
The carving was disguised by the wall so I couldn't see it, so I carefully felt out the shapes of the carved lines, coming to realise the picture was a lion, I bit my lip in thought, remembering how Iris opened the muggle room for the first time I held my necklace softly.  
"I want to go into the muggle room."  
There was a pause before the carving grated into the wall, the wall opening slowly to reveal a stone passageway like I had found in the muggle room, I stepped into the shadows and immediately torches lit the way.  
Racing down the stairs with my gift in hand I burst out of the stone walls into the muggle room, my momentum sending the tapestry I ran through flying and causing Iris to start so wildly her feet kicked up, sending her falling off her beanbag.  
"SON OF A BITCH!" She cursed loudly from the floor.  
I apologised profusely and explained the tapestries quickly before we swapped presents, I opened mine, shedding it of its festive wrapping to unveil a pouch, a small leather belt buttoned around the pouch. When I unbuttoned it it unfolded to show it was a long length of fabric with a line of slots formed by a strip of fabric folded over and over, allowing space for pencils.  
"It's like a pencil case but you can also hold wands and other stuff. I thought it looked neat." She explained briefly before opening her own present as I marvelled in my gift, the neatness and order as well as how compact it was made me feel oddly content.  
"Woah! Awesome!" She sang as she unwound the cord to the headphones.  
"You have no idea how pissed I was with the whole 'no electronic devices at Hogwarts rule'. I mean how am I supposed to contact home or stuff!"  
"I kinda do have an idea, you told me this before. But I agree!" I started awkwardly, hurrying to agree once my statement had registered, worried I had ruined our entire friendship I bit my lip as I gouged Iris' reaction.  
"I know, it's fine." She reassured but I let my side fringe cover my face as I deflated slightly in anxiety.  
"River it's fine, we've been friends since we were like six! How many times do I have to tel, you? You can trust me to tell me your opinion and I won't judge you and I'll always understand. 'Mkay?" She hummed as she grabbed my hand, I nodded slightly flushed.  
"Thanks Bae!" She chirped and I smiled as her usual attitude returned.  
The sea of bobbing lanterns floated above us as we discussed things to do during the holiday break, Nancy's two owls had just arrived with our presents, she had sent Iris a sketching kit complete with an array of coloured pencils. I had received an lavishly carved box with several compartments.  
With wrapping paper scattered around we celebrated Christmas together, belting out lyrics to songs from Iris' new Walkman.  
I swiftly wound a band around Iris' newly braided hair, tapping her to let her know I was done, she stood and stretched causing a few unhealthy crack noises.  
"I'm hungry. Want to go see if they've got anything in the feast hall." I let her pull me to my feet once I nodded, sneaking out of the library and down the halls to the great hall I let a question slip out.  
"Do you think penguins have knees?" I felt frustrated with myself for just letting that randomly slip out out of nowhere but that soon disappeared when Iris reassured by animatedly leaping into the excuse for conversation. By the time we reached the Great Hall we were divided, Iris standing by e fact that they probably didn't while I thought they might.  
One of the best things about staying for the holidays was the fact that the Great Hall was immensely less crowded and no one could hear our conversation and judge us.  
We were exiting the hall again when I realised I hadn't sent my letter to my family yet, it was lying on my table beside my bed, we opted to meet back at our room - what we called the muggle room - and share the food.  
I was walking with my arms heaped with food when someone fell into step beside me.  
"Good evening miss Pheonix." Dumbledore greeted, I flushed, the last time I had had a conversation with him was when he calmed me from an anxiety attack. Not an experience I was proud of, or one I wanted to revisit.  
Perhaps he sensed my embarrassment - something he seemed unusually good at - because he soon distracted me.  
"You are having a good Christmas I presume?" I nodded shyly. "Wonderful, wonderful. I myself have found it rather tedious. The holiday is fun of course and the festivities, it is a wonderful day. However, most of my presents are books. Rather boring isn't it? What I wouldn't give for some nice, woollen socks."  
I allowed a small smile to creep onto my face.  
"And have you been content with your contact with your family?"  
Nod, "I'm sending them a letter now."  
"Hmm. And you have not found any other way to contact them?"  
I shook my head, confused.  
"Perhaps no, other way? Anything you find... Out of place that could help?" He hinted slowly. I furrowed my eyebrows until I realised what he was talking about, dashing off.  
"Thank you professor!" I let my necklace call as I diverted from my original course, leading directly to the muggle room now.  
I let the food in my arms fall onto the desk before turning to the old phone in the corner, I had often wondered its purpose.  
The phone sat there, like an inanimate object.  
I inspected the dial circle on it, it was clearly old fashioned but I couldn't see any numbers, licking my lips I turned the circle as far as it was go and let it drag back.  
I put the phone up to my ear and heard it ringing.  
Ring. Ring. Ring. Ri-  
"Yellow, green and blue, what can I do for you?" Jay chirped his rhyme through the the receiver.  
"Jay! It's River!" There was a sound on the other side of the phone before I heard both Jay and mum's voice.  
"River sweetie!" "See mum I told you it was her!"  
"Hi mum." I faltered with the phone and brought it down to my necklace as I realised where the noise was coming from.  
"Oh sweetie, what are you doing? how are you?" "Gimme my magic pear!"  
"I'm fine mum, I'm okay. I'm-" I faltered. "I'm in my room, they have phones at the school now!"  
"Oh that's great sweetie. I thought it was ridiculous to not have any communication except letter delivered by owl! I will not cut all contact with my daughter or have her lug around hundred of sheets of parchment for some crappy aesthetic!" She rambled, referring to my spiral book and satchel so I wouldn't have to carry all the loose equipment.  
"Magic. Pear!"  
"Oh, chickadee go call your grandpa and thank him for your present."  
I heard the thumping footsteps of Jay leaving.  
"How is everyone mum. Did you get a school for Jay and Cole?" "Yes but the semesters are confusing, they've started though. They've been taking the move well I think, Cole has been difficult. Maybe you could talk to him?"  
Doubt it. "Sure."  
"Thanks sweetie. I know this might be tough on you but you can talk to me about anything okay? I don't want you to feel like we just moved here to get rid of dad and you don't have a day or anything okay?"  
I nodded then remembered she couldn't see me. To be honest the conversation was making me uncomfortable, we had crossed to uncharted territories.  
"Okay."  
"Good. Oh everyone sent you presents, we told them you got into a boarding school for gifted students-"  
Yeah, gifted. That's what I was.  
"-so we sent presents from all of us on your behalf."  
"Thank you."  
"And don't worry! We've organised to have you home for the rest of the holidays. Iris can come too, I talked with her mum and everything, you're going to have a sleepover while she stays at our home!" Mum babbled excitedly on about the specifics.  
"-and she'll have to get back to her home after a week for the last of the holidays."  
"Thanks mum! You're the best!"  
"I love you too, now Jay's been trying to steal the phone from me for the past five minutes, here you go."  
There was rustling on the other end of the receiver before Jay answered.  
"Hey sissy, guess what? I lost my tooth! The tooth fairy gave me a dollar."  
"That's great Jay, what'd you get for Christmas?"  
"Well, nana gave me some Lego and paPaul got me-" he rattled off a list of presents really fast.  
"Mummy says you're coming home so you can open my present first, it's the best." He whispered secretively.  
"Okay. I'll be there soon. Can you pass the phone to Cole?" I asked awkwardly.  
"Alright, but he's being a real STUPID HEAD!" He yelled pointedly into the distance and I drew the phone from my ear in alarm.  
I heard thumping as he ran up the stairs and pounding on Cole's door, a disgruntled 'what' was faintly heard from the other end of the receiver before he spoke.  
"Hi."  
He sounded angry.  
"Hey, Cole. Mum said to say hello to you."  
"I'm fine."  
"Okay, uh, well I'm coming home soon so-"  
"I know. Whatever, I'll see you then. I'm busy."  
He droned and I heard the click of him hanging up, I shook off the awkward conversation, just another stellar attempt at talking to Cole. If this is what having kids was count me out.  
Just as I set the phone back the Ravenclaw tapestry blanched forward and Iris walked through, lowering one leg from the kick she had just sent to push the tapestry.  
"RIVER HOLY FUCK." She yelled, dumping the contents of her arms onto a beanbag before gracefully plonking herself down on one too.  
"The tapestry that leads to here is behind the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw, aren't we supposed to be the smart group? How come no one noticed that."  
I shook my head at her priorities before recounting my discovery.  
"Dumbledore like socks?"  
"Really? That's what you got from that?"  
"Oh right, my family don't want me back until the last days of the holiday."  
"They want you back they just think you'd like to have a sleepover with me. Don't you want to?"  
"Of course I want to you ignorant spork!"  
I nodded with finality and we sat down to continue eating, Iris drawing while I resumed playing with her hair, her frizzy ringlets were a tangled but auburn mane which I fishtailed.  
When the sun was shining through the window we realised we should probably get back to our common rooms and departed.  
The stone wall looked like a dead end which made me panic briefly before I pushed it slightly, letting out a sigh of relief when it grated open.  
I rushed forward, looking forward to the welcoming embrace of my bed, knowing that I already had clothes at home so I wouldn't need to pack.  
I clung to the walls either side of me to halt my run as I rushed back into the safety of the tunnel.  
The tapestry had changed position.  
Okay, sure, why not? I mean I live in a magic school with moving staircases and paintings.  
Problem?  
It had moved over the fireplace, about ten feet off the ground up the wall.  
I was leaning out over the floor that was ten feet below.  
Nice.  
Sure.  
Let's make that a thing instead of - oh I don't know - actual safety of the students?  
I internally criticised as I awkwardly swung one foot out at a time, to try see if I could reach any foothold.  
I mean sure we're the safest place on the planet but let's let an eleven year old fly on a twig hundreds of meters above the ground with flying balls out to kill them!  
My internal voice hissed as I continued calculating options, sitting down and stretching my leg out to see if I could reach it, the negative result of failure fuelled my inner ranting even more.  
And sure lets have a teacher mentally harass and discriminate against thousands of students until they fear his presence but heaven forbid we leave a door in one place!  
Oh, and let's not forget the troll with as much intelligence as the bottom of my double pluggers, the agility of a wombat on sleeping pills and about as much brain cell activity (and just as much testosterone) as the groggo on a Friday night was set loose in the scho-  
My internal ranting - and realisation of just how stereotypically Australian I was - was brought to an abrupt end as my nervous dancing on the edge of the tunnel caused me to loose my footing and fall gracefully to the floor.  
At least the distance wasn't as much as I'd judged and I was fine except for a few sore spots, I glared at the tapestry which fell back into place, innocently.  
I winced and stretched my back gingerly, spotting under the tree two wrapped presents, they seemed hastily wrapped and caught my attention.  
I nudged one with my toe and it seemed unresponsive, I picked up a scrap of paper beside it that had my name hastily scrawled on it.  
Glancing around the room as if another River Pheonix would claim the gifts before carefully unwrapping them.  
One was full of fudge that melted in my mouth, I had heard Ron talk about his mum's cooking, the other was a small assortment of magical lollies.  
The note was signed by both Harry and Ron.  
We had sort of an unspoken agreement we were all friends after the troll incident but I didn't expect this, it brought a smile to my face and a warm feeling to my heart as I left to bed, falling asleep almost immediately.


	6. Home for the holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicholas Flammel, the Philosophers stone and going home for the holidays, a secret dragon. River is left to contemplating all that has occurred since her move and question if this is what she really wants?

I felt a sharp jab to my ribs and recoiled instantly causing me to roll off the bed and onto the floor. I scrunched my face in pain before rolling again to wrap the blankets further around me so I was constricted in a fluffy tortilla.  
"Bae."  
I screwed my eyes shut further and shook my head tiredly.  
"Wake up assbreath."  
I managed to extract one hand and flop it upwards then let it fall to the floor again.  
"No, not five more minutes. Get up."  
Iris apparently understood my random gesture (which was not sign language) and swiftly ripped off my blankets, unfortunately this backfired as I was wrapped so tightly in them I got dragged too and my head hit the bedside table painfully.  
I groggily reached my hand up to blindly feel around for my necklace on the bedside table which I slipped over my head sleepily, "this is abuse."  
I could hear Iris rolling her eyes and leaning over the bed to poke me again, "I'm up! I'm up! I'm- *snore*"  
Iris firmly shoved me with her foot so I was turned on my back, I started and sat up suddenly, throwing the blankets off me.  
"Welcome to the land of the living."  
"I preferred the other one."  
Iris grabbed my offered land and hauled me to my feet, it took me a second to compute and allow my sleep addled brain to catch up.  
"Wait, why are you in my dorm?" "Separation anxiety, we're leaving today, you gave me your password. Take your pick"  
I mumbled incoherently, then realised, "oh... Crap, we're leaving today!"  
I quickly scrambled to my suitcase and pulled out a pair of clothes that were folded in a corner where I put all my fandom clothes that weren't my uniform and dashed to the bathroom to change.  
When I left the bathroom, my shirt displayed a group of Pokemon and I was wearing my favourite pair of sweat pants, throwing on my hoodie I went to pack my satchel with items I wanted to bring home but Iris handed me the bag, already packed. "I love you."  
"Love you too."  
We dashed out of the dorm, passing Harry and Ron in the common room who both looked at Iris confusedly.  
"When did she-"  
"Hang on-"  
My temporary embarrassment at being caught off guard was short lived as Iris yanked me through the portrait, saying a quick word to the boys.  
"Yeah, yeah, Ravenclaw in your command room. Oh, the travesty." She sarcastically yelled as I shut the portrait behind us.  
"I told you this is the Gryffindor common room." The fat lady raised a disapproving eyebrow as she narrowed her eyes at Iris, "and I told you the password." Iris retorted quietly under her breath and dashed off, dragging me with her impatiently.  
"Sorry. Have a nice holidays!" I apologised as we wound the complicated passageways, Iris swearing at doors that pretended to be walls and inconvenienced our progress, we skidded to a halt outside Professor McGonagall's office. Nearly bowling each other over with our speed we collected ourselves before knocking.  
The door swung open immediately, the professor looking at us sternly, "you're late."  
"Sorry." Iris bashfully apologised, demeanour instantly in check in front of a teacher, and we filed inside. Her office was clean and orderly and a fireplace was on one wall, lit and ready.  
I was confused, I was told that we would leave back to our home by her office as she had organised transportation so I wondered how we would leave, my stomach twisted as I recalled how we arrived at the leaky cauldron.  
I hoped that wasn't how we were leaving this time.  
"You will be traveling by floo. Your mother has been informed you will arrive soon so she should be ready."  
Iris nodded as if she understood while I stood there dumbly. Floo?  
The professor nodded to the fireplace and Iris stepped in, still holding my hand which meant I was pulled in too, the flames licked our robes harmlessly and Iris glanced at them nervously.  
I could tell she was anxious too considering we were in a small cramped space used for fire so I squeezed her hand, though I could barely offer her any assistance as I had no clue what was going on.  
"43, Nashville, Bonnington lane." McGonagall spoke clearly and threw some power in the fireplace, a sudden plume of green fire lit up and both me and Iris started, clinging to each other Iris screamed and we leapt out of the fireplace.  
Instead of falling onto the mahogany floor of professor McGonagall's office, however, we landed on top of a Persian carpet.  
"whAT THE HELL?!" Iris coughed and spluttered out, scrambling away from the fireplace untrustingly.  
There was another scream and we turned to see my mum clutching her breast and breathing heavily in shock. Jay seemed not to notice as he barrelled through mum's legs towards us excitedly.  
"That was so cool!" He reached his small arms around my figure and buried his head in my shirt. Mum straightened and rushed to hug me too, helping me up and checking me for any ash or smudges from the fire place.  
"Iris, hello. How are you?" She made conversation, "I'm fine, thanks." Iris awkwardly responded, reserved now that she was in front of others.  
Mum nodded at her then pointed to presents in a corner of a lounge room. "I hope you liked your Christmas present. Those are from everyone for you, River."  
"Thanks."  
"How is your school? Are you learning anything?" "It's mostly theory, but I learnt levitation. I'm not allowed to use magic outside of school though."  
Mum nodded, "that's good sweetie. Oh, I got a letter from school saying you defeated a troll, I'm so proud of you sweetie! Were you the top in your class?"  
I felt relief she didn't question it and went along with the excuse. "Yeah, it's all theory though. We did it for our magical creatures class. You write an essay on how you would so..."  
Iris raised her eyebrows behind me as she caught onto my lie, shuffling her bag awkwardly.  
"Oh, right! You two can pack up in River's room, we haven't been able to completely unpack it yet so your bed is just in the corner. I'll put sheets on this afternoon, then we can unwrap your presents."  
We both nodded and dashed up the stairs, entering my room to see a bare bed and walls, lacking any personalisation at all. Some boxes were still scattered around.  
Iris automatically pulled down the blinds to give us privacy, always considerate of my anxiety, the small gesture made my chest feel warm with gratitude. She made a beeline for my bed in the corner and flopped onto it dramatically, immediately ranting, "what. The. Hell? They just- I mean I've heard of floo and my mum has done it and all my sisters but seriously? Maybe a little heads up next time? I mean, God dammit if your anxiety wasn't acting up because mine sure was. Confined area filled with fire? I didn't even know if you guys even had a fire place. Where would we have ended up then?"  
She finished her rambling by breathing heavily into my pillow, which had no cover, before sitting up, "okay I'm good now." Though I could tell she'd still hold that slight annoyance for a while now. I looked again around the room at the amount of boxes and the sheer bare ness of it all and she - seeing my distress - offered to help me unpack which I gratefully accepted.  
We spread out all my clothes and items across the floor and began packing them up, Iris handling furniture and decoration while I organised my cupboard, pulling out and replacing several stacks repetitively, not satisfied with the order.  
When I finally stepped back I would be able to find any clothes I wanted within five seconds flat, I didn't have that many clothes though, merely a slight hoarding problem.  
Iris helped me with a box that wall full of flowery decorations, fake flowers that I didn't want to waste by throwing away finally came in use as I stood up on a stool to decorate them around a window.  
The window was a bay window and I decorated the outside colourfully before setting pillows on the seat until it was basically heaven in a nook with a garden view, there were even spaces on the walls inside it for me to put some of my favourite books in.  
When mum finally came up the stairs with a pile of covers me and Iris were sitting on the bed, drained of energy we had our heads resting together, one earphone in our ears to share the music.  
Mum bustled through, setting the sheets at the end of the bed and firmly rushing us downstairs, "come on, dinners ready then we open presents okay?" She hustled us downstairs and into the kitchen.  
Cole was already wolfing down his food with Jay, when he saw me he droned unhappily, "hullo River."  
Well ain't it a friggin' joy to see you too, brother.  
I pulled back a chair - the screech of the feet against the floor like nails on a chalkboard in the palpable awkwardness and I could hear even Iris wincing.  
I fidgeted with my hands unsurely before settling with them in my lap as mum placed the cob-loaf filled with lots of delicious dip in front of me, moving it from where it was currently seated in front of my brothers as they played with their portion.  
"I used Nana's recipe."  
The knowledge this was our nana's famous and ever delicious recipe broke the tension as we all hustled to get some, Iris especially eager for the food after the last time she had tasted it left an impression.  
(Our mum had a booklet of Nana's recipes which held the cause for diabetes.)  
The conversation flowed only slightly haltingly from there and the chatter around the table rose with it, the awkwardness forgotten, to my relief.  
When we piled our plates in the sink I unwrapped my presents, from my Nana I had gotten a packet of barley sugar candies and her recipe for making them folded up and slotted between the delicacies. She lived in New South Wales and whenever we used to visit I would look forward to her cottage on the hill beside her fields of barley sugar. She used to let me watch the crops burning and help her mix the barley sugar, it sent a pang of homesickness through me and my throat felt unnaturally tight all of a sudden.  
Swallowing the lump in my throat I smiled and popped a sweet into my mouth, sucking on the taste as I picked up an envelope from my paps, it was an Australian fifty dollar bill, mum offered to change it for me the next time she went to the bank but I declined for some reason.  
From my Aunt was a trash bag filled with her old clothes, my Aunt was amazingly into fitness and healthiness and was very fit and strong, she was also extremely pretty for her age and a beauty guru, knowing all the homemade remedies for facials and creams.  
She was pretty much the person who writes those health recipes and regimes in fitness magazines.  
She used to be my size and was even now only a couple sizes larger than me so I knew the clothes would fit comfortably if a little loose, she also had similar tastes as me only she was more fashionable.  
Mum eagerly suggested I try them on now and egged me on excitedly, watching with rapt attention and applause when I displayed the dresses - for dresses they mostly were.  
After we filed into our rooms, sorting out Iris' bed and mine first, Iris tiredly said goodnight and rolled over.  
As her breathing slowed I stared at the ceiling, no matter how much I tossed and turned it seemed impossible to get to sleep, so I settled for counting the cracks.  
The room was quiet and it gave me an odd sick feeling to my stomach, it felt like for the past half year I hadn't actually had a moment of quiet and now that I did it seemed suffocating.  
It didn't come to me all at once, I didn't know how long I was staring at the ceiling and the spider I'd named Jimmy-Bob dangling idly on a thread of cobweb.  
Silence was horrible.  
Hypocritical coming from the mute, I know.  
In the silence all my thoughts caught up with me and there was nothing to distract me from their amplified volume.  
It brought a sick, twisted feeling to my gut.  
All the year seemed like it had been on fast forward, so loud and fast I hadn't a moment to catch up, now, in the silence, all of it piled up like an avalanche.  
All my doubts and insecurities, all of it, it was insane.  
In less than a year my best friend had moved to England, my parents had been divorced, we left our home in Australia, and now I was in a magic school for wizards.  
With everything distracting me I hadn't had time to feel homesick, now that I was, it crushed my chest.  
Every time I thought I might get used to it some excruciating detail jumped out at me, snagging in my mind to serve as a reminder that this was not the familiar home I was used to.  
I truly realised the distance now, it was indescribable, I was on the other side of a planet from everything I knew and loved.  
The bookstore with my secret corner, hidden behind a corner of shelves away from everyone, the markets which were open every weekend, Mrs Mallory who made the best jerky and would always recognise me and greet me, who didn't care that I didn't talk, happy enough to do the talking for the both of us.  
The word 'mate', God, I didn't realise how much I could miss that single word, it was so surreal to not hear it anymore.  
I missed my home too, with the sweet comfort and safety its isolation would bring, how big it was, my favourite pony, I missed the dogs.  
I missed that perfect home where my parents were together.  
I knew it seemed selfish, I knew they split for a reason and I knew it was coming, I didn't want them back together to keep up my perfect illusion of home, or because I thought they needed to be together, I realised that now, I had moved on from a little girl who didn't understand why her parents were fighting. No, I wanted them together for convenience.  
For not having to lie to my brothers, for being able to see my dad every day, for knowing Cole was okay and happy and didn't always glare at the world because he was scared of something like this happening again, for not being here.  
That last thought startled me out of my reverie.  
I didn't hate being here, right?  
I was with Iris, I had friends, I was in a school learning about magic, I couldn't dislike it here, I was simply carried away.  
I confirmed the thought firmly, guilty at how much I was complaining, others had it worse, I knew, but I couldn't help but feel... I didn't know what the word was.  
I realised just how much my eyelids were drooping, how long was I awake? Jimmy-Bob was already finished his cobweb, I must have lost track of time, I could hear Iris' slow breathing beside me, lulling me out of my state.  
I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind, turning over to go to sleep finally.

When I woke groggily I continued with the holidays, reflecting on last night I resolved that I wasn't going to let the rest of the week follow in this fashion, I wouldn't worry mum, I knew she'd be upset if she thought it was awkward. She just wanted us to be happy, and I could see how trying it was for her.  
The following week went along the pattern of mum trying to eagerly compensate for anything and everything in an attempt to keep us happy, flitting about like a hummingbird to try make the most of our time together. Jay was still blindly happy with the enviable innocence of a four year old who didn't understand all that was happening.  
Iris left after a few days for her own home, Cole was the real problem. He was a grumpy eight year old, unreasonably spiteful against the world.  
I was never having kids.  
I still tried, though my attempts were weak I managed to create a facade of being extremely happy, not at all awkward.  
After a few days I had once again grown accustomed to the swing of things and was currently with my mum in the kitchen, flicking knobs on the oven to heat up some pizza, mum was writing in a book on the bench, a habit of hers.  
"Would you like to do anything this week? Any ideas?"  
I shook my head awkwardly before pausing, when we had moved in we weren't used to as much space and had holed all our spare stuff into one room, when I came back I saw that it still wasn't unpacked and in one corner was all of mums old sewing and knitting things.  
"Could you teach me to knit?"  
Mum looked up from her doodles of a detailed and realistic horse head in surprise before she realised what I had asked and immediately bundled the contents in her hands onto the bench before hurriedly walking to the spare room.  
"Of course you can. I think I still have my old stuff in here..." She trailed off and I followed the sounds of clutter being shifted to see her balancing precariously over several boxes on small areas of floor that were barely visible under the storage.  
She looked like an awkward yoga participant as she managed to snatch her sewing kit and a box of yarn supplies from the corner.  
She took large steps over the boxes which reminded me briefly of Neil Armstrong, reaching the door she herded me into the lounge room and fell into a chair, placing the boxes either side of her.  
She opened her sewing kit and pulled out two pairs of knitting needles before handing me one pair and a booklet entitled 'knitting for dummies' which didn't do much for my self esteem.  
She opened it to page one and instructed me carefully, demonstrating with her own examples though she was out of practice and I doubted she even used to be able to masterfully knit past scarves. It was like Mum to want to take up something but never get far enough, she was better at more hands on art such as painting and drawing.  
Over the next few days though I managed to pick up on the hobby, attempting it even in my room after mum had left to do chores, the sound of the needles distracted me from the ever present buzzing of anxiety in the back of my mind.  
When the week finally drew to a close mum and Jay accompanied me to the platform, Cole electing to stay at home.  
I weaved through the crowd with new purpose, determined to not show weakness in my facade I waved them goodbye before running down the corridor, pausing when I became in viewing distance of compartments to make it seem like I wasn't rushing.  
I spotted Nancy in a compartment - Iris wasn't coming back to Hogwarts until later apparently - and reunited, giving her one of my nanas barley sugars. She recounted her holiday in Canada with her Aunt to me, right up to today, explaining how she viciously fought to find and keep and empty compartment, using various wild gestures.  
"And my I built up a snowman and charged and dived into it and it was friggin' freezing but sooooo much fun!"  
I smiled at her when I suddenly heard a familiar voice ring out through the corridor, scolding someone for a rambunctious scuffle that had erupted, I could tell from our compartment that the people responsible probably weren't listening.  
I stuck my head out of the compartment, the crowd had filtered into their respective compartments and people were mostly congregating around compartment doors or areas in the hallway in small friend groups as the train was going to leave the station soon. I turned to the source of the reprimanding to see Hermione scolding a group of fellow first years who's backs were to me, I waved at her shyly and offered a weak smile, she noticed me and huffed at the students one more time before impatiently pushing past them.  
Plonking herself defeatedly onto the seat opposite me she greeted me with her usual smartness and turned to Nancy who was surveying her with trepidation, when she turned to her Nancy immediately smiled to cover up her wary stare.  
"Nancy this is Hermione. She's in my dorm." I awkwardly introduced and the two exchanged tentative smiles.  
Hermione reached into her luggage which she had dragged into the compartment with her and withdrew with some difficulty a small, ornate book, wedged between other books, handing it to me.  
"Thank you for the Christmas present, I found the book really interesting, especially that rumour about the wand of Merlin being buried in the school."  
I looked at the book and saw it was a complete book of Grimm's fairy tails.  
"I thought you'd like it, it's old fashioned like the Illiad, which I know you liked."  
I smiled up at her, touched. "Thank you."  
"Have you found any information about Nicholas Flammel?" She asked, leaning forward conspiratorially.  
"Who's Nicholas Flammel?" Nancy asked as I shook my head.  
"We don't know. That's the thing." I said, eyes flicking to Hermione seeking permission to tell her, Hermione looked unsure so I carried on with caution.  
"We heard one of the teachers talk about him and they were acting really secretive so we wanted to know. You have magical parents, do you know anything about him?"  
I evaded specifics but didn't tell her a lie, already too guilty about keeping it a secret in the first place.  
Nancy scrunched up her face, "no, but I don't really pay attention to any famous wizards so..." She shrugged.  
"That's alright. I'm sure Harry and Ron will have found something," I gave Hermione a questioning look when I caught onto the certainty in her voice and she flushed.  
"I may have, suggested they haven't searched the restricted section before leaving." She held her chin high defiantly, rushing on defensively.  
"I didn't say they should actually look of course, I mean, I was just stating fact." She emphasised but already Nancy was chuckling under her breath.  
"Do you think they'll find anything?" I asked, "well, there was nothing anywhere else was there?"  
"No, but, the restricted section is dark magic stuff. I mean, are we sure he's even that famous? Or maybe we're just looking in the wrong place."  
Hermione contemplated my suggestion carefully before sighing and heaving out a heavy looking book from her bag, she placed it on the seat beside her which unfortunately sent up a small cloud of dust residing in the cushioning.  
Hermione wafted away the cloud and stood up before leaving, giving us notice that she was going to get changed in the bathrooms, Nancy followed.  
With the compartment empty I drew the blinds (rechecking them several times nervously to reassure myself that - yes they were properly shut) and also changed before taking my seat again, waiting for them to get back my eyes fell on the book in front of me and, my curiosity getting the best of me, I leaned to inspect the title.  
Biting my lip and growing bored impossibly quickly I hooked one finger under the cover and flipped it to a random page, scanning it carefully to see a column of portraits on the paper with small paragraphs of information beside them.  
The Lucky potion, crystal balls, unicorns blood.  
I didn't read any further as the train jostled slightly and I immediately snapped the book shut, aware of the fact Nancy and Hermione could come back any minute and I hurriedly pulled the blinds back up, fiddling with one last one to make sure it was in the exact same place as before when the door opened.  
I let go of the blind and it snapped up audibly and my hands flew to my lap in an attempt to look aloof while I was having an internal crisis about how obvious the blind was and the book was out of place.  
Hermione sat down and reached for my book and I held my breath guiltily before relaxing my tensed muscles when she opened it anyway.  
Summing up my courage I spoke up, "Hermione, what's that book?" "Hmm? Oh, well it's a book I picked up for some light reading (Nancy raised her eyebrows in disbelief) it's got lots of famous properties from the magical world, including the people who invented them." "Do you think maybe Nicholas Flammel would be in there?" She immediately looked up in surprise and I licked my lips nervously before she closed her gaping mouth and exclaimed with a start, "oh! I didn't even think of that. How stupid of me!" She began leafing through the pages hungrily.  
"Here let me try." Nancy offered and Hermione looked at her skeptically before reluctantly relinquishing it to her, Nancy turned several pages at a time and I could tell Hermione was peeved at her skipping whole pages and was about to speak up when Nancy stopped and pointed at a paragraph.  
When the train finally pulled up with a jolt we all burst from the compartment excitedly, our bags would be delivered up so we didn't bother taking them.  
The familiar sight of the school greeted us and after several minutes in the winding corridors we stumbled into the library where Harry and Ron were already slumped over their books.  
Hermione strode forward purposefully while I straggled behind, trying not to show my obvious heavy panting.  
"I had you looking in the wrong section." She announced her presence, "how could I be so stupid?" She rolled her eyes and aggressively placed the heavy book on the table causing the boys to draw back their books with a start.  
"I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading." "This, is light?" Ron spoke, disbelieving.  
Hermione fixed him with a pointed glare before continuing as she flipped the pages to the one she'd marked.  
"I didn't even think about it until River pointed it out to me!" I blushed slightly, ducking my head as I slid into the seat beside her.  
Her fingers brushed the book before she found what she was looking for, "here it is. Nicholas Flammel is the only known maker of the philosophers stone!" She hissed, keeping her voice hushed.  
"What?" Both boys echoed.  
"Honestly, don't you two read?" I smiled slightly at the comical sight of her scolding them reproachfully, Ron looked almost sheepish.  
"The philosophers stone is a legendary substance with astonishing powers. It can transform any metal into pure gold, and produces the elixir of life, which will make the drinker immortal." I read out to interrupt their soon to be argument.  
"Immortal?"  
"It means you'll never die." Hermione put in, clarifying.  
"I know what it means!" Ron snapped but Harry hushed him as Hermione gave him another judgemental glare.  
I continued awkwardly, trying to defuse the tension, "the only stone currently in existence belongs to mister Nicholas Flammel, the alchemist, who last year celebrated his six hundred and sixty fifth birthday."  
"That's what Fluffy's guarding on the third floor! That's what's under the trapdoor! The philosophers stone." Hermione hissed, leaning forward as I finished reading.  
The atmosphere grew tense and we shared apprehensive looks.

Our cloaks billowed behind us as we dashed across the wet grass to Hagrids' cabin, knocking on the door.  
It swung open and Hagrid's bushy beard greeted us, "oh hello, sorry for bein' rude but I'm in no fit state ter entertain today." He attempted to shut the door but the others stopped him from doing so as they yelled in unison.  
"We know about the philosophers stone!"  
The door swung open again and Hagrid had a resigned look on his face, not at all surprised.  
We followed him inside, taking off our coats, Harry immediately voiced his suspicions about Snape, I sat on the bricks by the fire, the warmth tickling my back pleasantly, I saw a shape in the cauldron and furrowed my eyebrows curiously.  
"Snape? Blimey, yer not still on about that are yeh?"  
"Hagrid we know he's after the stone we just don't know why!"  
"Snape is one of the teachers protectin' the stone! He ain't about to steal it."  
That caught my attention, "what?" Harry reflected my inner thoughts.  
"You heard. Right, come on now I'm a bit preoccupied today."  
Why did I have a bad feeling that he was preoccupied with what I had now identified as some sort of stone in the fire.  
I leaned closer carefully, to examined the charred patterns decorating the surface better.  
"Wait a minute, one of the teachers?"  
"Of course! There are other things defending the stone, aren't there?" Hermione piped up from her chair which she looked rather comical sitting in seeing as it was Hagrid's size and she was an eleven year old, her feet just barely reached the edge.  
"Spells and enchantments." She continued.  
"Tha's right. Waste of bloody time if yeh ask me. Ain't no one gonna get past Fluffy!" He confirmed proudly, "ain't a soul knows how, 'Cept for me and Dumbledore." He suddenly froze in his place and I could see his face was the same but he radiated nervous realisation. "I shouldn't have told you that. I should not have told you that." He despaired.  
Suddenly the rock rattled in its pot and everyone's attention focused on it.  
Hagrid bent down and retrieved the perfectly smooth rock with his mittens, making sounds as he juggled the hot object before bumbling it onto his table which we all rushed over to.  
"Uh, Hagrid, what exactly is that?" Harry voiced his concerns and Hagrid nervously stuttered.  
"It's uh... It's, uhm." He tried to avoid the question before Ron eagerly answered for him.  
"I know what that is! But Hagrid, how did you get one?"  
"I won it! Off a stranger I met at the pub. Seemed quite glad to get rid of it as a matter o' fact." He pondered, confused, though judging by the worrying sounds it was making I would be glad to be rid of the potentially dangerous object too.  
The shaking intensified and we all backed away from the table slightly, cracking sounds from the egg as I had now realised it to be.  
Unlike the others I leaned forward unconsciously, displaying no fear, only curiosity. Suddenly the egg burst open, shattered pieces flying everywhere as a small creature flexed in the centre of the table, spreading its frail looking wings my jaw dropped at the sight of a baby dragon and I had to resist the urge to aw as it made cute sounds, shaking the egg shell pieces off its body.  
"Is that. A dragon?" Hermione asked, eyebrows raised in shock as she turned to Hagrid with a judging look.  
"That's not just a dragon! That's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother Charlie works with these in Romania!" Ron spoke in a tone of awe crossed with more than slight fear.  
Hagrid took no notice of their conversation. Staring at the dragon with teary eyes, "he's beautiful. Oh, bless him look he knows his mummy!" He chuckled when the dragon turned to him with a small chirp.  
"'Allo Norbert." He cooed, scratching the dragons' neck who made a high pitched sound in response.  
"Norbert?" Harry still seemed in shock.  
"Yeah well he's gotta have a name doesn't he?" Hagrid replied and Ron chuckled.  
Hagrid made baby sounds at him and Norbert suddenly coughed and burped up some flames which set fire to Hagrids' beard.  
Norbert jumped back in surprise to see the burst of colour and knocked over a bowl which made him start at the sudden sound and scatter away. While the others eyes widened in concern for Hagrid Norbert was bumbling around the table, scared and clumsy in this new world.  
I instinctively reached out and secured him from falling off the table, drawing him towards me protectively I avoided his snapping jaws at the shock of being picked up and petted him until his struggles calmed and he settled in my arms.  
I looked up to see everyone staring at me, surprised.  
"How'd you do that?" Ron demanded.  
"I'm from Australia. There are a lot of dangerous animals."  
Hagrid chuckled as he patted out his beard, "he'll have to be trained up a bit of course." Suddenly he squinted and leaned forward. "Who's that?"  
We turned to see a face in the window, he saw us and ran away but we had all seen who it was, and although I doubted he could see me from behind Hagrids' large stature as I was out of view of the window fear instantly chilled my bones for my friends.  
It was Malfoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT  
> I ran into a heavy writers block because I originally didn't want to have river in detention because it might drag it on but it seems like there's no other option so I was thinking to at least progress the story I could do the next chapter with a shift of pov. If anyone does read this story or would like to comment, who do you think the next chapter should be more focused on? Iris and Ravenclaw, Nancy and Hufflepuff or Grace (only introduced once before in the story)


	7. Moaning Myrtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detention with Hagrid gets a little out of hand and Iris makes a new friend

"You'll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight," Filch drawled, "got a little job to do inside the Dark Forest."  
"'s a sorry lot this, Hagrid." He leered. Hagrid kept silent and continued setting up his stuff in a despaired manor.  
"Good god man, you're not still on about that bloody dragon are you?" Filch looked disgusted.  
Hagrid drew a heavy breath, "Nobert's gone. Dumbledore, sent 'im off to Romania. To live in a colony."  
"Well that's good isn't it?" Hermione asked, "he'll be with his own kind." She reasoned.  
"Yeah but what if he don't like Romania? What if the other dragons are mean to 'im. He's only a baby after all."  
"Oh for gods sake pull yourself together man! You're going into the forest after all. Gotta have yeh wits about yeh." He sneered ominously.  
"The forest? I thought that was a joke! We can't go in there."  
Pale snake boy with gel hair says what? We're going into a forest? Isn't that forbidden? And like, dangerous? Oh but sure it's not forbidden when it's detention and there's only five grade one students who barely know any defence magic, and one has anxiety!  
Ten out of ten teaching!  
I managed to catch Filch saying something about there being more than werewolves and let out a drawn out whimper I was embarrassed of.  
"Right, let's go." Hagrid lead us into the forest, keeping his lantern and crossbow aloft.  
We made our way through the misty grey forest, the thick tree trunks bare of any leaves and the silence made it seem like there was a pounding in my head, how was that even possible? I knew the writing phrase 'the silence is deafening' but until now I never truly experienced it, the silence was more than just deafening. It was a reminder of where we were, and at what time. It was crushing, unbearable, thick, and I was sure I could get a migraine from the speed it made my head spin thinking about it.  
We stopped at a lower tree, contrasting to the taller, branch less trees. Hagrid stooped down to a silver puddle on the ground, he dipped his fingers into the thick liquid to feel it for a moment.  
"Hagrid, what is that?" Exactly what I wanted to know oh chosen one.  
"What we're here for. See that" Hagrid held out his fingers soaked in the liquid. "That's unicorn blood that is."  
And here comes the panic attack, blood? What the fuck?! Of a unicorn? What the fuck?! Blood, never noticed how odd that word sounds when it's the cause of a panic attack and is ringing in my head like the bells of fucking Notre dam!  
I nodded slowly, up and down repetitively, not stopping as I was on autopilot. I scrunched up my face and creased my lips together awkwardly, taking a deep breath.  
Fang yelped and everyone turned to him to see me quickly release his fur I hadn't realised I was gripping.  
"I found one dead a few weeks ago, and now, this ones been hurt bad by sommaht. So, it's out job to go an' find the poor beast  
"River, Ron an' Hermione, you'll be with me."  
"Okay." Ron whimpered.  
"An' Harry, you'll go with Malfoy."  
Harry nodded, "okay, then I get Fang." Malfoy ordered pettishly.  
"fine. jus' so you know, he's a bloody coward." Hagrid shot back. Fang let out a long whine.

"I'm jus' worried abou' Norbert. What if he gets hurt or sommat?" It took me a moment to realise he was saying 'something' due to his accent and the distance his naturally long strides created.  
"I'm sure he'll be fine Hagrid, even if he is bullied he's small, he could hide. And anyway, Norwegian Ridgebacks are rare according to you, creature like that would have to know how to defend itself, years of adapting. Dragons are naturally good at surviving anyway, right?" I forgot my anxiety for a moment as I reassured Hagrid, I knew what it was like to care for animals and worry about them. It reminded me of my old farm so I tried to ease his conscience, ignoring how much I was worried I was going to screw something up.  
I had to try, Hagrid deserved that, he had been kind.  
I stumbled after Hagrid through the foliage with the others, all hurrying to keep up with his long gait.  
"Say River," Hagrid called out behind us thoughtfully, "Ye handled Norbert pretty well considering, I mean, well most people don' take to kindly to dragons." He called out, seeming pretty bewildered at the possibility of disliking dragons.  
"I lived in Australia, there are tons of dangerous animals there." I was panting as my necklace talked, sticks and twigs snapping and crunching under our feet, Neville kept looking around fearfully.  
My heart was racing in my chest all I could hear in my ears was its frantic beating.  
"Really?" Hagrid seemed interested and I gulped as I continued, "yeah, we see snakes in our backyards all the time, they're huge. I'm not sure what sort of magical animals there are though." As my breathing picked up I ploughed through, babbling on in an attempt to distract myself from the current situation and my internal panic and to block out the sounds of my strangled and quick panting.  
"I mean, there's kangaroos, they can kick you so powerful you break a bone and they're really strong and common. There's crocodiles and alligators who have lots of teeth." I mentally cursed, lots of teeth? Really strong? I sounded like a primary schooler fumbling for words pathetically I was afraid I came off as stupid or dim witted or something.  
"There's a lot of venomous snakes and spiders that are really big." Well boy-oh-boy I was on a roll now, down the rabbit hole it is, it's not like I was internally dying with every word I spoke.  
I focused on my path through the woods, avoiding branches and trying to reduce my stumbling so much I lost the next words from my necklace.  
"Lots o' toads too I'd reckon, like that Nevilles', ey?" Hagrid turned to face me, swinging his crossbow around with him causing me to halt and jerk back to avoid the tip. "Bloody pests around there so I'm told, not like that here, no sir." Hagrid bragged jovially.  
"Yes." I agreed feebly. "They're pets here." Nice going, idiot. Way to state the obvious.  
Hagrid stopped suddenly and Ron, who had been running to reach him, bumped into his back, Hagrid didn't seem to notice, comically.  
He held the lantern out in front of him to where it illuminated a spindly tree in front of us, we waited a moment, staring at it carefully, all seemed normal when suddenly I noticed what I had taken for extensions of branches were moving.  
"Bowtruckles, They're real rare 'ere" Hagrid explained as the small fairy like people turned to the light. "I know them! They stay in trees with wand wood!" Hermione piped up excitedly, "tha's right, never seen 'em 'round 'ere 'Cept for in classes o' course." Suddenly a frightened scream rang out and we could hear Fang barking loudly.  
"That sounded like Malfoy." Ron whispered, scared.  
"This way now!" Hagrid frantically ordered and veered to the direction the ruckus had come from, charging through the brambles.  
We could still hear Malfoy's hysterical screaming and it did not do good things for my anxiety.  
"Why are we running to the danger when all we have is Hagrid's crossbow?! Shouldn't we have, oh I don't know - WANDS?!" I snapped irritably, my heart racing in my throat.  
"Sure, let's send five wandless first years into the forbidden forest with only one weapon and NO defence training!" I screeched, my necklace let out a high pitched whine while I spoke.  
We saw Malfoy's lantern in the distance, running back and forth while he screamed, Hagrid met him halfway and stopped him.  
"Stop yer bloody yammerin'! Where's 'arry?" He ordered, but Malfoy wouldn't calm down and stop screaming, I felt myself having a panic attack and was incredibly irked and snatched the lantern out of his hands.  
He started hyperventilating pathetically, pointing in a direction and we charged that way, shoving his lantern back into his chest as he regained his breath.  
We stopped at the top of a small hill where we saw a pale unicorn lying on the ground and Harry talking to what looked like a centaur.  
"Harry!" Hermione called out, relieved.  
"Hello there Firenze." Hagrid greeted the centaur. "See you've met our young Mr Potter. Alright there Harry?"  
Harry looked lost in thought until Firenze spoke up, "Harry Potter. This is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck."  
He walked off.

Iris trudged down the stairs into the Ravenclaw common room, she was dressed in her robes but it was clear she was still half asleep, her hair free and wild showed that she had yet to run a comb through it.  
She squinted angrily at life as she left through the door, giving the eagle's head statue a delirious pat, humouring herself.  
She had returned yesterday afternoon from her parents, not having any time to see Nancy or River she went straight to bed but the Floo travel had left her disorientated, owing to her current sleep deprived state.  
Once she made it almost halfway to her intention she paused before deciding to divert her course from the Great Hall down a random hallway in hopes of finding a bathroom.  
When she spotted a archway door she walked inside, surprised to here high pitched sobs echoing through the bathroom, skirting around a group of sinks in a circle she peered around, failing to see anyone or any locked cubicles.  
"Hello?" She called out, clearing her throat awkwardly.  
The sobs cut off into a quiet gasp and suddenly the ghostly figure of a young girl in Hogwarts robes glided through one the the bathroom stalls.  
"Why are you here?" She whispered suspiciously.  
"Uuh, well, not going to the bathroom to excrete, obviously."  
The ghost sniffed indignantly, "I suppose you think your funny, come to tease me have you?" She exclaimed angrily. Before Iris could reply she continued hotly.  
"Let's all make fun of Myrtle 'cause she's dead!" She mocked in a sneering voice.  
"I wasn't here to make fun of you, I swear!" Iris defended, confronted.  
"I just needed to take a piss!" Her voice rose an octave comically in panic to get her point across.  
Myrtle settled down, confused, her expression turning neutral again.  
"No one ever comes into my bathroom." She complained sulkily, pouting.  
"Why do people make fun of you?" Myrtle turned her head and floated away slightly, "they think I'm weird. They don't like me." She explained pitifully.  
Iris shuffled her feet awkwardly.  
"Uh, why? You don't seem... Weird?" She ended it like a question unsurely.  
"Really?" Myrtle whispered. "No. I mean, I get bullied though so I understand, but you seem... alright." Iris continued unsurely.  
"You think so? I don't suppose you'd like to come to my toilet sometime?" She asked shyly.  
"Sure?" Iris said and Myrtle giggled in excitement, floating backwards to dive back into a toilet, her squeal of glee echoing through the bathroom.

"Nance!" Iris tilted her head back and squawked as she stomped into the Muggle Room.  
"Gah!" Was the startled reply, Nancy pressing a hand to her chest in surprise.  
"I'm back! Now 'cause I'm late I probably have to catch up on studies, any important things I missed?"  
"Yeah! Riv got a detention for an illegal trade of dragons!" Nancy immediately jumped to tell her. "What?"  
River sighed from the corner of the room, "that's just rumours and stuff, what really happened was I followed Hermione, Ron and Harry to Hagrid's hut because we found out who the Flammel guy was - thanks to Nance. And Hagrid was keeping a dragon egg, Malfoy found out and we all had a detention and fifty points taken from our houses. Each. It was extra for Neville too because he was also there. We all had to go into the woods, I was with Neville and Hagrid and it was okay, we talked about magical animals, I was fine, surprisingly. Some weird stuff happened to Harry though."  
"Of course it did, he's like the main character in every adventure movie." Iris rolled her eyes.  
"Anyway! You can tell us later, I met a ghost in one of the girl bathrooms and her names Myrtle. She's really lonely 'cause she gets bullied. I said I'd hang out with her sometime," she paused as the bell for their first classes tolled. "Can we do it after class?"  
"Sure, but I'm not eating in the bathroom." Nancy yelled as she ran out of the room, closely followed by River.  
"Hey, wait I just got here aren't you forgetting something?" Iris called after her, also leaving for her classes. River ran back and hugged Iris swiftly before running out again, Nancy also running back to hug her quickly.  
"That's not what I- never mind." She grumbled, leaving the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be fully in Iris' point of view. I cut it short to post it.


End file.
